NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by Des Custard

Santa Claus to step down: markets respond positively

Stock markets have responded positively to news that Toyland’s Prime Minister Santo Nicalosi, better known as Santa Claus, or Sugar Daddy Christmas to his closest female admirers, is to step down after arranging a final delivery of toys for December.

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Posted: Nov 10th, 2011
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Des Custard

Film casts new doubt on authorship of Bill Bryson’s ‘Shakespeare’

Following new doubts raised by the film ‘Monotonous’, an account of the life of Bill Bryson, a leading scholar has entered the fray with his views on the true authorship of Bill Bryson’s book ‘Shakespeare’, which has sold millions and has been translated into 134 languages.

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Posted: Nov 7th, 2011
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Des Custard

32% rely on smartphone to cross a road

totally reliable unless the battery runs out‘Smartphones even seem able to predict when cars will screech to a halt or other people will dive out of the way.’

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Posted: Sep 20th, 2011
More from Science/Technology



Des Custard

Man pees disinfectant toilet block 360 degrees in single urination

Eric Sanders, 37, of Carshalton, was said to be cock-a-hoop yesterday after successfully propelling a disinfectant toilet block a full circuit round a urinal drainage hole in the course of a single micturation.

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Posted: Sep 18th, 2011
More from Sport



Des Custard

Parents of A-Level loser plan gap year

taking the slow boat to PalookavilleFollowing his disastrous A-level results, the parents of James Ardingly have decided to take a year out while he works for his re-sits next summer.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2011
More from Education