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World leaders agree rescue plan – ‘turn all the computers off and then turn them back on again’

An emergency summit of the Presidents and Prime Ministers of the G8 economies has hammered out a ‘workable rescue package’ that they claim will halt the current global economic meltdown and restore the markets to previous levels.

‘All these figures on the computers have got so complex and out of control, that we agreed it was probably best to turn the power off at the mains and see what happened when we turned them back on.’

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Posted: Oct 13th, 2008
More from Business, UK News


deskpilot

Pools panel declare War on Terror ‘Away Win’

Panel doesn’t usually do internationals.

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Posted: Oct 8th, 2008
More from UK News


deskpilot

Crystal Meth and prunes enter typical UK ‘basket’

Crystal meth, crack and skunk have all been added to the typical basket of UK goods used to measure inflation, the Office for National Statistics has announced. Speed, bennies, glue and chewing tobacco are all to be removed from goods used to measure the Retail Price Index.

Increased consumer spending on crystal meth and crack reflects changes in modern shopping habits says the government department, which updates its 650-strong basket of goods and services every year, to better reflect public spending trends. ‘Crystal meth and skunk have been added as the popularity of make-at-home drugs continues to rise.’ said an ONS spokesman.

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Posted: Mar 28th, 2008
More from Business