Donald Trump has thrown down the gauntlet to his enemies by inviting them to play a new version of Buckaroo based on an articulated plastic model of a MOAB missile named ‘Fuckayou’. The winner gets to throw an arsenal of lethal weapons out of his pram and benefit from cheap Chinese imports way into the next millennium. [read...]
Following the discovery of a massive oil deposit 60 miles west of Shetland, Nicola Sturgeon has called upon oil exploration company, Hurricane Energy, to change the name of the so-called ‘Greater Lancaster’ oil fields to Bagpipe and Haggis in an attempt to stake an official claim for Scotland. [read...]
Excited anthropologists from the University of Durham have concluded a study revealing the raison d’être of Geordie Z-Lister Scarlett Moffatt. The bog-eyed celebrity has confounded scientists with her rapid development from a caustic couch potato to ‘the lass who pulls the big lever’ on ‘Ant and Dec’s Saturday Night Please For God’s Sake Take Me Away Show’. [read...]
With the nation in mourning following the death of Democracy, the United States is to hold an official state funeral in its honour.
Speaking to an empty room at a White House press conference after all news outlets were barred from attending, [read...]