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Sinners brawl in churches over Black Sunday discount deals on penance

There were chaotic scenes in Catholic churches across the UK yesterday as repentant sinners sought to take advantage of Black Sunday deals on absolution. As many churches opened their doors at midnight scuffles broke out when crowds fought their way towards confessionals to secure deals which saw penance slashed to bargain levels for one day only.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2014
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editor

Cameron says UK economy not doing so well now

Wearing ripped clothes, and in bare feet, the Prime Minister addressed EU leaders directly asking them ‘Would you like to buy a Big Issue?’

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Posted: Oct 27th, 2014
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editor

Cameron raises terror threat level from ‘Boring’ to ‘Arms industry needs sales’

Some members of the public have found the whole process strangely reminiscent of ‘…pretty much every time a Government wants to justify going to war’. One déjà vu victim said: ‘It’s odd the things we are supposed to be scared of. The UK sells Weapons of Mass Destruction to the Middle East for decades – all is calm. Saddam Hussein pretends to have some – the shit hits the fan.

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Posted: Sep 1st, 2014
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Vampires lap-up Miller blood but remain unquenched

As the final succulent drops of Maria Miller’s blood dripped from the salivating mouths of tabloid editors, staff from The Sun, Express and Daily Mail turned their lustful gaze towards their next victim.

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Posted: Apr 9th, 2014
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