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Kent boy emerges from bedroom to hero’s welcome after six week stint on Call of Duty

parents had a Wii Fit just waiting for himThe parents of Billy Ackleton, a 10 year old firearms expert from Strood, say they’re ‘pleased to have him back’ after his extended tour of duty in the virtual deserts and ghost towns of cyberdoom, adding that they were ‘not worried at all about whether he would make it.’

But as family and friends lined the balloon and bunting clad upstairs landing of the two bed terraced house close to the high street, anticipation of his return changed to rapturous cheers of joy as the knurled brass handle of the pine effect bedroom door turned and the talented kid finally emerged.

His father Jimmy, said proudly, ‘I knew he’d do just fine. He’s always had a keen interest in guns ever since he could walk, and after I let him watch Pulp Fiction on his fourth birthday, it seemed only to cement his love of gun-toting violence from then on.

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2013
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editor

Russian pole vaulter ‘tried it once, but didn’t like it’

‘Is personal life-style things, so if you choose this way, OK, but you want keep them in separate. If you want do it, go outside by bins.’

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Posted: Aug 17th, 2013
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editor

Abu Qatada rails against British treatment after being flown Ryan Air

‘They added all sorts of charges and told me my hand luggage was too big. The food was a rip-off and they kept trying to sell me scratch cards.’

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Posted: Jul 7th, 2013
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editor

Daily Mail’s anti-porn campaign gathers pace with saucy summer swimwear shoot

The Daily Mail ratcheted up its campaign today for tighter controls on on-line pornography, by printing a series of bikini shots of young soap stars. The shots of the young bikini-body actresses in barely-there swimwear will pile the pressure on the government to make urgent changes.

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Posted: Jul 5th, 2013
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editor

Footy fans’ disappointment at loyalty of rubbish players

‘The worse thing Is, that all the crap players are still here, we need to get rid of them. They’re always asking us to be more patient and show a bit of loyalty to the players that are already at the club. It’s naive to expect that though, the club can’t halt their own ambitious out of a archaic view of loyalty.’

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2013
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