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British Government to be outsourced to Tesco

House of Commons to become Tesco Metro‘As from next week, all MPs will be equipped with cheap but practical Tesco uniforms including name badges and non-cabinet members will be put on the minimum wage with the opportunity to increase their salary if they participate in management training schemes.’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2009
More from Politics



evilsuperstar

Privacy campaigners call for people to stop looking at each other in the street

Keep your head down and avoid eye contactA formal complaint has been sent to the Information Commissioner following reports that members of the public are being observed in the street by hundreds of passersby.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2009
More from News In Brief



evilsuperstar

Somali pirates to wear more traditional outfits

parrot 'de rigeur, darling'Pirates off the coast of Somalia have been undergoing a radical re-branding exercise in a bid to help increase public sympathy with their cause. Henceforth cargo ships risking the dangerous waters off the horn of Africa will have to look out for Somalis wearing eighteenth-century frock coats, eye patches and black hats featuring the distinctive ‘skull and crossbones’ logo. A spokesman for the new-look Somali privateers explained the shift to more traditional pirate attire; ‘Aha, Jim lad, thar be pieces of eight in that there Spanish galleon!’, after which the ‘pieces of eight’ point was re-iterated several times by the green parrots on his left shoulder.

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Posted: Apr 21st, 2009
More from World News



evilsuperstar

Real IRA furious that someone else has bagged their name on Twitter

begorrah and bedad, now Many celebrities use the word ‘Real’ in front of their name to differentiate from imposters

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Posted: Mar 12th, 2009
More from Politics



evilsuperstar

Knights of the realm called up for military service

The government has announced that modern day knights of the realm are being signed up for active service in order to earn their titles. Sir Richard Branson, Sir Terry Wogan and Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber are among the knights that will be joining the army to support the country’s overstretched armed forces. Defence Secretary John Hutton said ‘This country has hundreds of knights who are not actually living up to their name and we believe it is time they did their bit for their country in the manner of their predecessors.’

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Posted: Jan 23rd, 2009
More from UK News