The Government has unveiled an ambitious plan to eradicate the homeless from England’s streets by carpeting all pavemented public areas. “It’s quite a brilliant plan” enthused Housing Secretary James Brokenshire. “Our vision is that we can pay lip service to this social problem and sweep the homeless under the carpet – just like the old… [read...]
Football pundit and all-round gentleman Jamie Carragher has announced a major sponsorship deal with iconic chewy sweet brand Chewits, as the new football season seems to have finally started at long last. Carragher commented: “It’s foochin great laaa. [read...]
Government health bigwigs have revised their alcohol consumption guidelines to help people deal with the Orwellian grimness of everyday life in the UK. [read...]
A man has apologised unreservedly for taking his wife’s guidance on what to buy her as an anniversary gift literally. [read...]
