Every household in the UK will receive a cardboard cut-out Hugh Pym to help combat Covid-19, it has been announced. ‘At exactly two metres tall, Hugh Pym is the ideal tool for correctly measuring social distancing”, [read...]
Under-fire Premiership footballers have reassured the public that they are still great entertainment value for their average salary of £57,692 and 31 pence per week – yes, even if you’re shit! Long accused of getting paid a King’s ransom for ‘just’ [read...]
US Vice President Mike Pence involuntarily jizzed all down his suit pants during Donald Trump’s latest Coronavirus briefing to journalists. Attendees at the briefings have grown accustomed to insufferable sycophant Pence’s long, loving gazes at the President, [read...]
Sunak was appointed on a 3 month fixed term contract with the expectation that he wouldn’t last 5 minutes. [read...]
‘Self-isolate?’ scoffs Dan Everhard in between gulps of his third double macchiato of the morning. [read...]
