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Liverpool manager Dalglish sacked after no reversal of fortunes

Kenny Dalglish was sacked by Liverpool FC’s US owners following a miserable run of form, which has seen the Reds lose against arch rivals Man United, fail to score, and have their captain sent off in every match.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2011
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Apple claim the letter i and seek to ‘takeover the alphabet’

Apple MD Steve Jobs has explained that following the launch of products such as the iPad, iPhone and iPod, his company is to patent the letter i and ‘begin to takeover the alphabet’.

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2010
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Griffin hits out at lax controls on bird migration

BNP leader Nick Griffin launched a tirade against lax border controls which are said to be letting thousands of foreign birds enter the UK every week, ‘taking fruit picking work and demanding mixed nuts and stale crusts handouts.’

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Posted: Jul 21st, 2010
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Government bans jogging due to ‘natural highs’ from endorphins

‘The harms associated with this addictive pastime include exhaustion, grazed knees and sprained ankles,’ Home Office Minister David Hanson told Parliament yesterday.

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Posted: Mar 31st, 2010
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Brown announces the ‘Happy New Year’ deadline has passed

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has brought days of speculation to an end by announcing that there is no longer any need to say Happy New Year to anyone.

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Posted: Jan 13th, 2010
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