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X-Factor twins to be conjoined in complex operation

Separate lives would double chance of exposure‘If ever there’s an opportunity to turn two twats into just one, then as doctors it’s a chance we’ve got to take.’

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Posted: Nov 20th, 2009
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Pre-school children ‘woefully ignorant of trigonometry’

Pre-school teachers are in the firing line after research has shown that no less than a quarter of a million children are leaving nursery school each year with a substandard level of education.

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Posted: Aug 5th, 2009
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30-something man still living with parents ‘because of credit crunch’

37-year-old Scott Mackenzie said plans to move out of his parents’ home had been postponed again due to the ongoing financial crisis. ‘No time for taking risks,’ said the local council worker, who noted that a sacked colleague faced financial ruin because of ‘a relatively short-term’ custodial sentence, ‘any excuse for these ruthless management bastards’.

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Posted: May 18th, 2009
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‘OfCarol’ to regulate festive singing chaos

Should singing start as soon as the callers reach the doorstep?

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Posted: Dec 19th, 2008
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