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Articles by Gerontius
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City workers asked to return to front line duty
The government is asking retired hedge fund managers, bankers and financial service advisers to come out of retirement to help fill gaps in the financial sector left by the coronavirus crisis. Letters are being sent to more than 5,000 retired City workers in the hope they can help boost front line financial services hit by… [read...]
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‘Still plenty of porridge’ say supermarkets
Supermarkets across the UK say they are running dangerously low on all food supplies although nearly all stocks of porridge remain unaffected. They say all fresh, frozen and tinned produce are now gone and there are just a handful of dried pulses still remaining. [read...]
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Holiday Britons in virus-hit hotels still awaiting first signs of sympathy
Government officials have provided advice for British holidaymakers stranded in the bar in Tenerife and other locations. ‘It is the view of this government that hotel staff made your bed….now sleep in it.’ Some stranded holidaymakers have complained that wind, [read...]
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Turd in swimming pool denies being at fault for people getting out
A turd found floating in a swimming pool in Cumbria insists he is not to blame for turning people away from swimming in the pool. The 67-year-old turd said he was disappointed with the negative response he had received from people in the town but vowed to continue bobbing about in the water until he got his message across. [read...]