After an unfortunate incident, in which a police CCTV operator was left on his own for ten minutes while watching a shopping precinct, the Metropolitan Police has made new recommendations that will require them to watch footage only in pairs. [read...]
An elderly widow has agreed an undisclosed settlement with a burglar who broke into her home, after the biscuit she offered him contained nuts that were potentially fatal to the violent armed robber. [read...]
‘Once it was easy to get an appointment with the Doctor. Now it’s bleeding impossible. And, I swear, if I don’t do something about my Dalek problem, it could be fatal.’ [read...]
All the supporting actors in this year’s big Christmas blockbuster movie have now been successfully identified, and what’s left of the film can now be watched in peace, according to reports emerging from 72 Smeaton Road, [read...]
Chemistry standards among student suicide bombers are getting lower and lower, the recruitment manager of Al Qaeda has complained. Speaking after yet another London student failed to set off an incendiary device, the terror group’s human resources supremo, [read...]
