David Cameron has today confirmed that plans for plain cigarette packaging will be reinstated, in an attempt to improve the quality of Conservative party policies.
‘Sod the health of the nation,’ he blustered. ‘This is about ensuring that our primary planning tool has the capacity we need.’
Posted: May 17th, 2013
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The drivers of three Nissan Micras who have all been giving way to each other at a mini-roundabout in Weston-Super-Mare have been given emergency rations by concerned locals as their stand-off passes the three day mark.
Posted: May 13th, 2013
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‘I find it staggering that no pandas managed to adopt children last year – local authorities must stop delaying adoptions in an attempt to find a perfect species match.’
Posted: Apr 23rd, 2013
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The three blind mice made famous in the popular nursery rhyme have been stripped of their disability benefits, the Department for Work and Pensions confirmed today.
Fans of ‘Jerusalem’s Got Talent’ were left reeling yesterday following the news that the runaway bookies’ favourite Jesus Christ had been beaten into second place by notorious criminal Barabbas.
Posted: Mar 31st, 2013
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