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British youth inspired by menial Olympic support roles
‘We hoped that a new generation would dare to dream of one day carrying in the athletes’ tracksuits after a race, or measuring how far the discus was thrown.’ [read...]
Articles by ianslat
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Devil agrees to trial community sentences
The Devil will impose non-custodial sentences following a report by the Chief Inspector of Prisons highlighting problems of overcrowding and poor conditions in Hell. [read...]
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Microsoft delays launch of Stephen Hawking Vista
Software giant Microsoft has admitted that the launch of the latest Stephen Hawking upgrade has had to be delayed due to problems with the new operating system, which keeps crashing whenever asked to calculate when the universe began. [read...]
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EU admits ‘90% of policies are solely to annoy Farage’
EU Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso has admitted to journalists that most of the decisions made by the EU are now designed with the sole purpose of winding up UKIP leader Nigel Farage. [read...]
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Gang initiation tests ‘getting easier’ claim critics
‘All candidates need to do is glare menacingly at a pensioner whilst wearing a hoodie.’ [read...]