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Simile fans despair at decline of brick shithouses

‘Soon the great British brick shithouse could be a thing of the past,’ said Arnold Bradley of pressure group Save Our Shithouses, which has called on English Heritage to give the few remaining ones listed status. ‘Young people today wouldn’t know a shithouse if it hit them in the face, let alone how big it was.’

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
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UK & US rule out military intervention: Russia actually has WMDs

David Cameron and Barack Obama have today ruled out the possibility of taking any military action in Ukraine, on the grounds that Russia definitely does have Weapons of Mass Destruction. ‘We don’t need to send in Hans Blix to justify anything this time’, explained the Prime Minister.

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Posted: Mar 6th, 2014
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Somerset to be frozen for curling rinks

‘I’ve always been a big fan of curling,’ he declared shortly after Team GB won its second medal of the games ‘and I think it’s important that we secure the future of the nation’s favourite sport by creating adequate facilities for the curling champions of the future. Somerset’s got lots of water at the moment so it’s the obvious choice.’

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2014
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Sky Sports launch new 4D service called ‘Actually-Going-to-the-Match’

it's almost as if you're there‘It looks like you’re there; it sounds like you’re there; if you sit too near the toilet it even smells like you’re there.’

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Posted: Feb 18th, 2014
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Badgers now thought to be ‘virtually immortal’

run, run for your livesGovernment scientists have come to the conclusion that badgers are pretty much immortal following the failure of the recent cull to put much of a dent in their numbers.

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Posted: Jan 30th, 2014
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