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‘Millions died under last Liberal government’ warns Brown

New Liberals, New DangerilablesGordon Brown today launched a scathing attack on the Liberal Democrats, urging voters to remember their track record before casting their vote next week. ‘I’m sure none of us has forgotten what happened the last time we had a Liberal Government’ he warned.

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Posted: May 5th, 2015
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Christmas to be moved to accommodate Qatar World Cup

a gift from Santa BlatterRepresentatives of Europe’s biggest Christian groups had said that they were against a winter World Cup on the grounds that it would overshadow the build up to the annual festival, popular for about the last 2000 years, but FIFA President Sepp Blatter argued ‘Compromises will need to be made. There’s no reason why a religious festival celebrated by millions around the world shouldn’t be moved.’

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Posted: Feb 24th, 2015
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David Miliband to seek re-election as his comedy alter-ego Ed

'a joke can go on for too long'Popular stand-up David Miliband has confirmed that he will once again be seeking re-election in the guise of his bumbling comic creation ‘Ed Miliband’.

‘I see that Al Murray made the headlines yesterday when he announced that his ‘Pub Landlord’ character will be standing against Nigel Farage, but I’ve been doing it for years’ chuckled Miliband. ‘I came up with the idea for a comedy younger brother years ago. He was a kind of imaginary friend when I was growing up, and when I went into politics it just seemed like a funny thing to try, and for some reason it caught on and I’ve been doing him ever since.’

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Posted: Jan 16th, 2015
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A&E departments unable to cope with influx of news teams

news crews resorting to reporting on each otherA&E departments across England are struggling to deal with the unprecedented numbers of reporters and news crews that have descended upon them in the last few days. Cameramen have reported being kept waiting in corridors for up to eight hours, and more than twenty hospitals have admitted missing their target of enabling broadcasts to be transmitted from their emergency rooms every four hours.

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Posted: Jan 8th, 2015
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Jeremy Kyle sent to broker Middle East peace deal

‘Perhaps Israel can have Gaza during the week and Palestine at weekends?’ suggested Kyle optimistically.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2015
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