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England squad tipped for great rendition of God Save the Queen

might make tactical substitution at half time and hum The Great Escape insteadEngland manager and singing coach Roy Hodgson has told a press conference that his side ‘can’t wait’ to get out onto the pitch and ‘sing their little hearts out’ before their opening World Cup match on Saturday.

‘We’re very excited about this young group’ he said. ‘We’ve got some great talent coming through. We sang well in all of our qualifying matches, and there’s no-one in the tournament we fear will outsing us in a head-to-head national anthem, especially the ones with no words.’

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Posted: Jun 13th, 2014
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EU admits ‘90% of policies are solely to annoy Farage’

EU Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso has admitted to journalists that most of the decisions made by the EU are now designed with the sole purpose of winding up UKIP leader Nigel Farage.

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Posted: Jun 1st, 2014
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Mexican standoff at Weston-super-Mare roundabout reaches third day

only thing moving for three days was their eyes‘I think we’re going to be stuck here forever, and I’m running low on boiled sweets.’

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Posted: May 8th, 2014
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Unemployed loser mocks David Moyes sacking

A Bristol man who dropped out of school at 14, has never had a job or a girlfriend, lives with his parents and can’t spell has admitted spending the last couple of days poking fun at the former Manchester United manager.

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Posted: Apr 28th, 2014
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Simile fans despair at decline of brick shithouses

‘Soon the great British brick shithouse could be a thing of the past,’ said Arnold Bradley of pressure group Save Our Shithouses, which has called on English Heritage to give the few remaining ones listed status. ‘Young people today wouldn’t know a shithouse if it hit them in the face, let alone how big it was.’

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2014
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