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Cameron outlines plans to cut Scottish immigrants’ benefits

David Cameron has given details today of proposals to restrict the amount of benefits that Scottish immigrants to the UK can claim should Scotland vote for independence next year. Under the plans Scots would have to live in the UK for three months, stop pretending that Irn Bru’s better than Coke and change their ringtone to Swing Low Sweet Chariot before becoming a burden on the welfare state.

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Posted: Nov 30th, 2013
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Indian space mission set to end Indian poverty

There’s a definite chance that if we can discover signatures of methane in the Martian atmosphere life will be much much better for the 400 million Indians living in poverty. I’m sure they’re all crossing their emaciated, disease-ridden fingers that the mission is a success.’

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Posted: Nov 5th, 2013
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Authorities remove blond haired child from Nazareth couple

Holy Land constabulary have confirmed that they have taken an ‘aryan boy’ into protective custody, after concerns that he was not living with his ‘biological’ parent.

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Posted: Oct 25th, 2013
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Miliband row worsens as Daily Mail reveals Ed’s aunt ‘failed to watch boat race’

she's probably the sickest woman in British politicsThe acrimony between the Daily Mail and Labour leader Ed Miliband is set to worsen after the newspaper published allegations that his aunt Emily ‘failed to watch the 2013 Oxford-Cambridge boat race’, substantially reinforcing its argument that the entire family hates Britain and wishes us all dead.

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Posted: Oct 3rd, 2013
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UK and Spain in dispute over Bongobongoland sovereignty

leaders agreed to find a solution which didn't involve flinging pooPrime Minister David Cameron has today been in talks with Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy in an attempt to diffuse tensions between the two countries over control of Bongonbongoland.

Spain is now claiming that the previously inconspicuous British territory is rightfully theirs due its proximity to Spain, and Spanish border officials have been causing severe delays to anyone attempting to cross the border with Bongobongoland by carrying out lengthy checks on vehicles. In addition they have been charging a 50 Euro (100 Bongoese Pound) fee, and have also been threatening to investigate the tax affairs of any Bongobongolander living or working in Spain.

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Posted: Aug 7th, 2013
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