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Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family
It is alleged a character in the popular soap is to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the usual abject misery. [read...]
Articles by jp1885
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Bodies found washed up on beach ‘are missing owl and pussycat’
Police investigating the disappearance of an owl and a pussycat from an animal sanctuary in Weymouth, Dorset, have confirmed that two bodies, found washed up at nearby Chesil Beach, are those of the two missing animals. [read...]
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Paris Hilton spotted with Syrian migrant in handbag
Syrian migrants are set to become this years ‘must have’ accessory, after socialite Paris Hilton was photographed leaving an exclusive Munich fashion store with a desperate refugee clinging to her Louis Vuitton Kusama Pumpkin handbag… [read...]
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New Channel Tunnel back to North Africa unveiled
After months of top-secret excavation work, the results of a major Anglo-French construction project have been unveiled today: a brand-new extension of the Channel Tunnel that will take would-be migrants from Calais straight back to a currently undisclosed location in North Africa. [read...]
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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’
‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’ [read...]