NewsBiscuit

A 47 year-old Dudley singleton has received a ’shot in the arm’ to his dreams of finding love, after it was announced that glamorous actress Kate Winslet is to split from her husband, director Sam Mendes.

Double glazing salesman Nigel Trudd claims that, while he has every sympathy for Ms. Winslet’s family, news of the split couldn’t have come at a better time. ‘I was beginning to lose hope about ever marrying a Hollywood starlet to be honest…’

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2010
More from Celebrity

Inner city gangs are increasingly eschewing dangerous dogs as status symbols for so-called ‘trophy wives’, according to the latest crime statistics.

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2010
More from News In Brief

Adult movie star Lustie Blowes now facing questions

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2010
More from From The Archives

‘Comparing the work of Jude Law with, say, Robin Askwith, star of ‘Confessions from a Holiday Camp’, shows that the average male has become steadily less randy since the late 70’s, and the level has reached new lows during the last twelve months.’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment

Michael Jenkins, a 36 year old car salesman from Surrey, is due to appear before a magistrate after admitting to honking his horn whilst not feeling particularly horny.

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Posted: Mar 1st, 2010
More from News In Brief