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Other stories by jp1885

‘Chinese financial woes made me molest goat’ claims defendant

A Gosport man who appeared in court on charges of outraging public decency, sexual assault and animal cruelty, has blamed his ‘regrettable’ behaviour on the volatility of global finance.

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Posted: Aug 29th, 2015
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Benedict Cumberbatch ‘magnificent’ as Bloke in Tesco

Benedict Cumberbatch has blown away the critics after a ‘magnificent, power-house performance’ at the Brent Cross Hendon Way Tesco Superstore in Cricklewood.

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Posted: Aug 27th, 2015
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1D to join Kurdish Peshmerga fighters

In a shock move, One Direction have announced a break from music in order to battle the so-called Islamic State alongside Peshmerga fighters in northern Syria.

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Posted: Aug 24th, 2015
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Obese man wins right to McDonalds bypass

I'm swervin' it Gastric band built around local branch

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Posted: Aug 21st, 2015
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Amazon to deliver Top Gear trio by drone

Following the signing of former Top Gear presenters Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May, online retail and media giant Amazon have announced plans to ‘physically stream’ the maverick trio into viewers’ homes via Prime Air drones.

‘Our Amazon Prime Air service is a high-end, high-profile delivery platform befitting a high-end, high-profile presenting team,’ revealed Jay Marine, vice-president of Amazon Prime Video EU. ‘What better way to send this exciting new content to consumers? From the very moment we met them, the first thing we thought of was ‘drones’.’

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Posted: Aug 3rd, 2015
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