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Other stories by jp1885

Christmas perfume advert successfully deciphered

just buy it anywayThe meaning behind a pre-Christmas perfume advertisement has been successfully decoded for the first time in television history, it has been revealed.

An expert team of academics, working with some of Britain’s top code breakers and cryptanalysts, spent the last seven years studying and dissecting a pre-production commercial for this season’s must-have scent: ‘Labrynthé’ by Dior.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
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jp1885

Dimbleby tattoo: stakes raised as John Humphrys gets ‘intimate piercing’

nobody knows what retaliation Evan Davis has in mindThe playful spat between veteran broadcasters David Dimbleby and Jeremy Paxman has been blown apart after fellow political pundit John Humphrys appeared on live radio sporting a full array of metallic genital piercings.

‘It was like a piece of installation art,’ revealed a member of the Today programme production team, ‘special guest Rupert Grint didn’t know where to put himself – mind you, neither did John after all that.’

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment



jp1885

Circus world in turmoil as lions conquer fear of chairs

lions still a bit skittish when confronted with occasional tablesThe international circus community is in crisis today after accident investigators working on a series of fatal attacks on lion tamers came to the shocking conclusion that the lion population has suddenly overcome its inbuilt fear of wooden chairs and stools.

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Posted: Sep 6th, 2013
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jp1885

Authorities ‘winning the War on Muesli’

millions of pounds worth flooding the UK every yearThe rising price of muesli across the globe is proof that the international trade in this illicit breakfast cereal is finally ‘in retreat’ according to the UK’s Serious Organised Crime Agency.

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Posted: May 15th, 2012
More from Lifestyle



jp1885

‘Keep Calm And Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far, say consumers

‘Still, at least it’s better than Francis Maude’s recent ‘Panic Immediately And Turn Your Garage Into A Potentially Exploding Death-Trap’ campaign.’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2012
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