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Other stories by jp1885

ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment



jp1885

Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tapping gloves after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial injuries.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2012
More from UK News



jp1885

CRB check to include compulsory test on the works of Julia Donaldson

Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that childcare professionals wishing to apply for a CRB check must also ‘demonstrate sufficient knowledge’ on the works of popular author and Children’s Laureate, Julia Donaldson.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
More from News In Brief



jp1885

British population to be dyed purple in fight against racism

equality for everyone, but Green Party raising objections‘It will be impossible to be a racist if everyone is the same colour purple. Our public information campaign will be fronted by John Terry, Luis Suarez and Diane Abbott.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2012
More from UK News



jp1885

Costa to sell coffee enemas

‘People have been cleansing themselves with coffee enemas for centuries,’ explained spokesperson Tana Morrison. ‘And at Costa we’re all about coffee, so for us this is a natural progression. As of Friday, patrons will be able to flush out their systems with a refreshing Cappuccino, douse their digestive tract with a milky Latte or pump themselves full of a sultry Mocha.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2012
More from News In Brief