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Other stories by jp1885

Christmas perfume advert successfully deciphered

just buy it anywayThe meaning behind a pre-Christmas perfume advertisement has been successfully decoded for the first time in television history, it has been revealed.

An expert team of academics, working with some of Britain’s top code breakers and cryptanalysts, spent the last seven years studying and dissecting a pre-production commercial for this season’s must-have scent: ‘Labrynthé’ by Dior.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment, Lifestyle



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Dimbleby tattoo: stakes raised as John Humphrys gets ‘intimate piercing’

nobody knows what retaliation Evan Davis has in mindThe playful spat between veteran broadcasters David Dimbleby and Jeremy Paxman has been blown apart after fellow political pundit John Humphrys appeared on live radio sporting a full array of metallic genital piercings.

‘It was like a piece of installation art,’ revealed a member of the Today programme production team, ‘special guest Rupert Grint didn’t know where to put himself – mind you, neither did John after all that.’

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2013
More from Arts/Entertainment



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Authorities ‘winning the War on Muesli’

millions of pounds worth flooding the UK every yearThe rising price of muesli across the globe is proof that the international trade in this illicit breakfast cereal is finally ‘in retreat’ according to the UK’s Serious Organised Crime Agency.

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Posted: May 15th, 2012
More from Lifestyle



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‘Keep Calm And Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far, say consumers

‘Still, at least it’s better than Francis Maude’s recent ‘Panic Immediately And Turn Your Garage Into A Potentially Exploding Death-Trap’ campaign.’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2012
More from News In Brief



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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment