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Other stories by jp1885

Authorities ‘winning the War on Muesli’

millions of pounds worth flooding the UK every yearThe rising price of muesli across the globe is proof that the international trade in this illicit breakfast cereal is finally ‘in retreat’ according to the UK’s Serious Organised Crime Agency.

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Posted: May 15th, 2012
More from Lifestyle



jp1885

‘Keep Calm And Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far, say consumers

‘Still, at least it’s better than Francis Maude’s recent ‘Panic Immediately And Turn Your Garage Into A Potentially Exploding Death-Trap’ campaign.’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2012
More from News In Brief



jp1885

ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
More from Arts/Entertainment



jp1885

Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tapping gloves after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial injuries.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2012
More from UK News



jp1885

CRB check to include compulsory test on the works of Julia Donaldson

Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that childcare professionals wishing to apply for a CRB check must also ‘demonstrate sufficient knowledge’ on the works of popular author and Children’s Laureate, Julia Donaldson.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
More from News In Brief