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Other stories by jp1885

‘Keep Calm And Regularly Check Your Prostate’ a slogan too far, say consumers

‘Still, at least it’s better than Francis Maude’s recent ‘Panic Immediately And Turn Your Garage Into A Potentially Exploding Death-Trap’ campaign.’

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Posted: Apr 23rd, 2012
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ITV to drop all pretence with ‘Britain’s Got Freaks’

there probably won't be a second round ‘Today’s viewing public don’t care if a contestant’s unemployed Asperger’s Syndrome granny’s dying wish is to see them make the big time, we just want fatter, poorer and less attractive people than us humiliating themselves live on stage – it’s the ultimate in feelgood television.’

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Posted: Apr 4th, 2012
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Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tapping gloves after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial injuries.

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Posted: Mar 15th, 2012
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CRB check to include compulsory test on the works of Julia Donaldson

Home Secretary Theresa May has announced that childcare professionals wishing to apply for a CRB check must also ‘demonstrate sufficient knowledge’ on the works of popular author and Children’s Laureate, Julia Donaldson.

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Posted: Jan 20th, 2012
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British population to be dyed purple in fight against racism

equality for everyone, but Green Party raising objections‘It will be impossible to be a racist if everyone is the same colour purple. Our public information campaign will be fronted by John Terry, Luis Suarez and Diane Abbott.’

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2012
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