NewsBiscuit

The news written by you…

Other stories by la maga

Health Visitors to hold loaded guns to heads of mums who won’t breastfeed

The campaign to get more mothers breastfeeding has been given a boost today with the news that Health Visitors are to carry firearms, and will be authorised to force mothers to breastfeed at gunpoint.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 19th, 2010
More from News In Brief



la maga

London customer converses with newsagent after 14 years of buying milk

It is the first time Mr Trantor and the shopkeeper have exchanged any words besides ‘Eighty-nine pence please’ or ‘Sorry, I’ve got no change’.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 10th, 2010
More from News In Brief



la maga

Government outsources entire benefits system to the Taliban

In a bid to both discourage bogus benefits claimants and increase legitimate employment opportunities for Afghan militants, the government is to outsource jobcentres and the benefits system to the Taliban.

Read more >

Posted: Aug 1st, 2010
More from News In Brief



la maga

Clegg still hasn’t found the toilets in Number 10

Nick Clegg is still to locate the toilets in the Prime Minister’s Downing Street residence, a close confidant revealed yesterday. ‘People keep deliberately misinforming him,’ explained the source.

Read more >

Posted: Jul 16th, 2010
More from News In Brief



la maga

Coke addict not bothered by election of new Colombian president

Jono Greggs, advertising executive and habitual cocaine user, last night greeted the news of the victory of Colombia’s ex-defence chief Santos in the presidential election with an indifferent shrug. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘It must suck to have a killer as a president, but it’s Colombia – what d’you expect?’

Read more >

Posted: Jun 23rd, 2010
More from News In Brief