The campaign to get more mothers breastfeeding has been given a boost today with the news that Health Visitors are to carry firearms, and will be authorised to force mothers to breastfeed at gunpoint.
Posted: Aug 19th, 2010
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It is the first time Mr Trantor and the shopkeeper have exchanged any words besides ‘Eighty-nine pence please’ or ‘Sorry, I’ve got no change’.
Posted: Aug 10th, 2010
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In a bid to both discourage bogus benefits claimants and increase legitimate employment opportunities for Afghan militants, the government is to outsource jobcentres and the benefits system to the Taliban.
Posted: Aug 1st, 2010
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Nick Clegg is still to locate the toilets in the Prime Minister’s Downing Street residence, a close confidant revealed yesterday. ‘People keep deliberately misinforming him,’ explained the source.
Posted: Jul 16th, 2010
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Jono Greggs, advertising executive and habitual cocaine user, last night greeted the news of the victory of Colombia’s ex-defence chief Santos in the presidential election with an indifferent shrug. ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘It must suck to have a killer as a president, but it’s Colombia – what d’you expect?’
Posted: Jun 23rd, 2010
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