NewsBiscuit

Early reports of a dream a man had last night could mark the beginning of a new stage in human evolution, say scientists. Until now, the ‘I had the weirdest dream last night’ introduction to a tale of flying on a bicycle over a city of talking goats to deliver dead roses to a pope was the norm, but Martin Watterson broke the mould when he awoke this morning, and announced, ‘I’ve just had a perfectly normal dream.’

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2012
More from News In Brief

‘Players these days go down at the slightest contact, so I gave her one of those looks and gestured to her to get up. There was no-one near her at the time. In my view it was a dive, pure and simple.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2012
More from Sport

The UK government has announced plans for a new public inquiry to examine the recent increase in the number of public inquiries. ‘We’ve seen a spate of new public inquiries in the past few weeks,’ Prime Minister Cameron told The House, ‘so it’s clear we need another one to find out once and for all whether the British public really are ‘institutionally inquisitive’ as some newspapers allege, or whether it’s just one or two rogue nosey-parkers.’

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Posted: Aug 25th, 2011
More from News In Brief

The organisers of Farnborough Air Display have announced a ‘very special event’ this year, with the show relocating from its traditional Hampshire setting to the ‘vast, empty skies above Libya’. ‘Rusting, burnt-out tanks with their drooping gun barrels casting long shadows across the arid desert will provide a backdrop of natural beauty,’ said the show’s artistic director, Raphael Nureyev. The decision to take the air display to Libya was one of the lesser-reported outcomes of the recent London Summit. Foreign Ministers from across the globe agreed it would teach Gaddafi a lesson if he was made to sit through the entire weekend event, watching endless demonstrations of the world’s latest aeronautic wonders and fly-pasts by French fighter-jets.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2011
More from World News

Options include First Past the Post, Alternative Vote, Best of Three, Consult the I Ching, A Throw of the Dice, Paper Scissors Stone and WGAF.

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Posted: Feb 21st, 2011
More from News In Brief