NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by mattdaniels

Hague urges government to send troops to Albert Square

The shadow foreign secretary called on the Government to direct armed forces to the east London district following the death of Bradley Branning on Friday evening.

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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2010
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Dramatic increase in the number of proud parents whose sons ‘do something with computers’

Encouraging news that 100% of them ‘are doing very well.’

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Posted: Feb 10th, 2010
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Bill Gates stuns the world with ‘Cardigan 2007’

‘The most advanced knitwear the softwear giant has ever developed.’

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Posted: Apr 24th, 2009
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Elevator company launches new lift which arrives quicker the more you press the button

The Otis Elevator Company have announced the introduction of radical new technology in their latest range of lifts which actually increases the response time of the lift the more you press the call button. Following extensive consumer research, the company identified a niche in the market as elevators across the world were reported to be completely ignoring repetitive hole pressing.

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Posted: Jan 4th, 2009
More from Science/Technology, UK News



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Government to bail out Tottenham Hotspur with emergency injection of 50 points

After continuing falls in the league position of Tottenham Hotspur, the government has announced that it is stepping in to prop up the ailing North London club with an emergency injection of fifty league points.

The club’s stock has fallen sharply since August with a negative goal difference increasing week on week. A number of competitors such as Hull City took points away from them, causing commentators to speculate that the club was wildly over-valued before the current crisis. BBC’s John Motson described the move as ‘perhaps the most extraordinary day in British football’ and an ‘absolute humiliation for Spurs, as if any more were possible.

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Posted: Oct 19th, 2008
More from Sport, UK News