Shocked alpaca farmers in the remote region of Nazca have woken to discover a giant cat drawn on the side of a hill. The cat is depicted wearing a police helmet and throwing a petrol bomb at a hummingbird. [read...]
To simplify the government’s strategy for tackling the pandemic, warning levels have been broken down into three easy to follow tiers.
The most serious ‘Commonsensical’ level applies to households with a QAnon twitter account and in which at least one family member likes to lick door handles and toilet seats. [read...]
Following a meeting between the Prime Minister and some of his chums, the North of England is to be subject to strict new Covid rules. From Saturday it will be an offence to play in a brass band, [read...]
Boris Johnson may have ambitions to become the next Pope, according to Downing Street sources. Having been head boy at Eton, Mayor of London, and Prime Minister, it is believed he wouldn’t mind having a pop at being pontiff. [read...]
Tough new COVID restrictions have been imposed in England, with people being asked to spontaneously combust, implode and disappear into a space-time wormhole. In worst hit areas like Chorley and Bolton, households will be asked to shop and socialise in a parallel universe. [read...]
