To simplify the government’s strategy for tackling the pandemic, warning levels have been broken down into three easy to follow tiers.
The most serious ‘Commonsensical’ level applies to households with a QAnon twitter account and in which at least one family member likes to lick door handles and toilet seats. [read...]
Following a meeting between the Prime Minister and some of his chums, the North of England is to be subject to strict new Covid rules. From Saturday it will be an offence to play in a brass band, [read...]
Tough new COVID restrictions have been imposed in England, with people being asked to spontaneously combust, implode and disappear into a space-time wormhole. In worst hit areas like Chorley and Bolton, households will be asked to shop and socialise in a parallel universe. [read...]