Sir Nick Clegg, former leader of… Oh, what was it? You know, some kind of coalition thingy. Sounds like Lib Donut. Or was it Democratic Rainbow Alliance? No. Oh god. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It was something like that. [read...]
The Sultans of Swing, a group of balding dads with ponytails, have disbanded after their lead trumpeter was arrested by police for ‘blowing Dixie live on stage’ in a pub way on down south in London Town. [read...]
For as little as 20p patients will soon be able to shove their head, limb, or genitals into a hole and have a vending machine assess a range of medical conditions. In a bold move to address the crisis in GP services, [read...]
John McDonnell has confirmed Labour will bring monasteries back into public ownership if they win the next election. Thousands of monks were thrown on the unemployment scrapheap during the 1530s when Henry VIII seized their lands and buildings and sold them on the cheap to his aristocratic friends. [read...]
Fans of ghost hunting documentaries have welcomed Channel 5’s decision to recommission Para-subnormal Witless, hosted by Danny Dyer and Vanessa Redgrave. The show was taken off air several years ago following the fatal drowning of scouse chancer and charlatan Eric Pakora in a vat of tanning lotion. [read...]
