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Scientists confirm couple’s baby ‘actually IS centre of the universe’

Physicists have confirmed that there is in fact a centre of the universe and that it is Benjamin James Milton, an 18-month old toddler from Knutsford, Cheshire.

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Posted: Aug 18th, 2014
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nealdoran

Liberal confesses he hasn’t actually spoken to his ‘black friends’ in 30 years

Non-racist credentials called into question following an ‘inappropriate’ remark at a dinner party

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Posted: Jan 15th, 2014
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nealdoran

‘Santa Claus is my mother’ claims seven year old boy

A young Hampshire boy claims that he has uncovered the secret identity of Father Christmas, and that the world’s most famous gift-giver is actually his very own mother.

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Posted: Dec 25th, 2013
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nealdoran

New for Christmas 2013: Sky+ remote now lets you pause and rewind live arguments

rewind, pause, go over it again, and again and againHurried onto the market for the important Christmas period, Sky TV have announced a new upgrade of their Sky+ remote control.

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Posted: Dec 23rd, 2013
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nealdoran

Role-playing sex games taken too seriously by Method Actor

unable to find sprocket which fitted her flangeJoanne Lowe was reported to be angry and frustrated after a suggestion to her husband that they add a spot of role-playing to their sex lives spiralled out of control. Upon hearing the idea of ‘the lonely housewife and the local handyman catching an eyeful as he clears the guttering’, husband Robin, a dedicated method actor, threw himself into the role.

‘I thought it would be a bit of fun while the kids were staying with the grandparents,’ explained 37-year old solicitor Joanne, ‘but Robin really began living the part. He put adverts in the local paper and in the newsagent’s window offering to do gardening, DIY, house clearances, all sorts.’

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Posted: Feb 20th, 2011
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