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Other stories by nealdoran

Nick Clegg becomes heroin addict in last-ditch bid for media attention

had to get in the papers somehowNick Clegg, reportedly leader of the Liberal Democrat party, announced in a press conference on Tuesday that he has now developed a full-blown addiction to Class A drugs as sign of his dedication to raising the profile of his party.

Clegg, who has struggled to gain the public recognition and popularity of his predecessors, and who is now being upstaged by the new ‘tough guy’ image of the Prime Minister, and even the pregnant wife of the Conservative leader, announced to a press conference held in a drugs den in Harlesden that his decision was a sign of the commitment he had to leading his party to power, and that Liberals should return to their constituencies and ‘prepare to be governed by a junkie strung out on shit, man.’

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2010
More from Politics



nealdoran

Woman ‘psychologically broken’ by relentless interrogation at branch of Subway

A London office worker has broken down under the relentless questioning of staff at fast food outlet Subway, confessing her most intimate personal secrets, as well as her preference for a six-inch ham sub.

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Posted: Mar 23rd, 2010
More from News In Brief



nealdoran

Pope unites with Dawkins to decree: ‘It’s the people that claim to be ‘a bit spiritual’ that are the real pain-in-the-arses’

Both agreed to have a dig at acupuncture‘It’s the ones who start getting mystical about life forces, and presence, and trees, for heaven’s sake’.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2010
More from Faith, Lifestyle



nealdoran

Boy’s sexual awakening embarrassingly coincides with family’s Bond movie viewing

Won't work out why she's got such a funny name until he's at least fifteenTim Vallely, a 12-year-old boy from Wiltshire, became aware of the power of the intrinsic primal attraction of the opposite sex for the first time this weekend, when sitting on the living room floor while surrounded by three generations of his family watching a Sunday evening James Bond movie.

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Posted: Jan 3rd, 2010
More from Arts/Entertainment



nealdoran

‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ viewing saves man’s life, ruins many others

even guardian angel got bored of his golf anecdotes‘Hadn’t bothered buying anyone presents on the assumption he’d be long gone’

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Posted: Dec 29th, 2009
More from Lifestyle