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NATO to bomb FIFA

Colonel BlatterThe UN Security Council has agreed to use ‘all necessary means’ to end tyranny at the heart of football.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
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Nigel Farage seeks TV debate in bikinis with Daily Mail’s Paul Dacre

could increase the Daily Mail's circulation if he had a columnUK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage has offered to dress up in a bikini for an exclusive debate with the Daily Mail to restate UKIP’s message, and is also willing to discuss the boundaries of UK sovereignty as long as Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre also turns up in skimpy, alluring swimwear, to create an atmosphere of gravity in line with that paper’s influential editorial norms.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2014
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‘Birthers’ conflicted after Obama’s birth certificate proves he is son of God

on a mission to heal the sickRepublican conspiracy theorists have reported bewilderment today after their persistent claims for documentary evidence of the President’s place of birth were answered by a birth certificate confirming that Barack Obama was born neither in Hawaii or Kenya, but in a stable in Bethlehem.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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Huge statue of Putin erected in Simferopol

Within minutes of Crimea formally becoming part of the Russian Federation, a gigantic bronze statue of Russian President Vladimir Putin has appeared in parliament square in the Crimean administrative capital.

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Posted: Mar 18th, 2014
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Army called in to take charge after all Premier League managers sacked

should be all over by ChristmasThe government’s emergency committee, Cobra, was hastily convened and concluded that the only viable option to get the league back on track and reassure the general punters was to bring in the troops.

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Posted: Dec 22nd, 2013
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