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New woes for government as official figures show speculation up by, say, 30%

could be right although, hang on... Excessive speculation could potentially lead to a catastrophic something

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Posted: Mar 3rd, 2015
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UNISON to form coalition with ASLEF

we'll keep the blue flag flying hereThe largest public sector union, Unison, has agreed on a coalition with the Associated Society of Locomotive Engineers and Firemen (ASLEF) to address Conservative party proposals that a 40% threshold among union voters is required before any industrial action can be taken.

‘Without the extra support from ASLEF we simply wouldn’t be able to make a coherent, less-than-majority case to the public for shutting down public services,’ said Dave Prentis, leader of Unison.

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Posted: Jan 11th, 2015
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NATO to bomb FIFA

Colonel BlatterThe UN Security Council has agreed to use ‘all necessary means’ to end tyranny at the heart of football.

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Posted: May 30th, 2014
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Nigel Farage seeks TV debate in bikinis with Daily Mail’s Paul Dacre

could increase the Daily Mail's circulation if he had a columnUK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage has offered to dress up in a bikini for an exclusive debate with the Daily Mail to restate UKIP’s message, and is also willing to discuss the boundaries of UK sovereignty as long as Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre also turns up in skimpy, alluring swimwear, to create an atmosphere of gravity in line with that paper’s influential editorial norms.

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Posted: Apr 27th, 2014
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‘Birthers’ conflicted after Obama’s birth certificate proves he is son of God

on a mission to heal the sickRepublican conspiracy theorists have reported bewilderment today after their persistent claims for documentary evidence of the President’s place of birth were answered by a birth certificate confirming that Barack Obama was born neither in Hawaii or Kenya, but in a stable in Bethlehem.

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Posted: Apr 19th, 2014
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