Bowing to environmental pressure and an increased demand for saturated fat, McDonalds will be allowing customers to inject, snort or smoke their ‘offal of choice’. There are various options, with some plastic straws being replaced by a more pragmatic mechanism for fast food delivery, [read...]
The Mammal Society and Natural England study has revealed as many as 12 species may be facing a Hard Brexit – or ‘extinction’ as its technically known. It is likely that in the next year sifghtings of a pro-EU Conservative will become as rare as the grey long-eared bat – or ‘Michael Howard’ [read...]
In the rush to protect everyone’s data from The Matrix, an over-enthusiastic IT manager, from Stroud, may have inadvertently erased the ‘sum of human knowledge’. Sadly it looks like 100% of the internet may have been deleted and along with it 28% of mankind’s knowledge and 100% of its porn. [read...]
Ahead of local elections, the Prime Minister insisted that her catalogue of errors was due ‘dirty rhythm’ and ‘funky fever’. Voters should not blame her predicament on the sunshine, the moonlight or the good times (in the early 80s) – they should blame Jeremy Corbyn and Damien Green’s inability to delete his search history. [read...]
Thousands of overweight racists are to spend today honouring the Great British tradition of getting really angry at the lack of celebrations for St George’s Day, if they are not too busy recovering from burning their shiny heads during the first appearance of sunshine since last October. [read...]
