CID officers have demanded bigger noticeboards on which they can put multiple pictures of suspects linked with complex networks of string, claiming that modern crime is too complicated for Office Outlet’s ‘standard serial killer’ size of 900 x 600 millimetres. [read...]
Mrs May has greeted the first signs of cabinet unity with enthusiasm announcing that the crucial elevenses biscuit decisions for Friday’s talks may be reached as ‘early as Thursday.’ With no fixed timetable for coffee breaks at the talk, [read...]
Jamie Oliver has created an exciting new range of firm World cup snacks that can be enjoyed conveniently while staring open-mouthed at unfolding sporting disaster or genocidal pandemonium in Brazil. [read...]
‘It looks too static and serious. What we need is more colour, more movement, more creativity, and a few surprises,’ said Mike Smyth, BBC Head of Appearance Factors Analysis. [read...]
Tears will replace test runs next year as Australia switches from cricket to crying as a national pastime. ‘So many of our sportsmen have demonstrated excellence at whimpering before an international corps of hardened sports journalists,’ sobbed Mike Smythe, [read...]
