‘I do have a recollection of an incline, that is certain’, recalled the Duke of York, speaking to Newsnight about the number of staff he had and how they were deployed. ‘As a member of the royal family we come into daily contact with anything from a gentle slope to a steep escarpment, [read...]
President Trump’s personal towel says it is being blamed for his refusal to accept defeat in the US election: ‘With Trump playing more golf than usual, I am in constant demand. It’s never been fun being the Donald-wiper, [read...]
Medieval monarch Donald Canute says suing the sea is the only option open to him after the oceans allegedly refused to disobey the laws of nature at his behest. ‘The seas round Florida behaved themselves perfectly, [read...]
‘If this tunnel exists, then this could be a game changer,’ Brexit Secretary Dominic Raab told a secret meeting of the cabinet last night. ‘It may sound like a story from the second world war, [read...]
Jingle Bells have been urged not to jingle all the way as part of special measures this Christmas. A spokesperson explained ‘Under normal circumstances we would insist on full completion of the bell-jingling guidelines. But this year, [read...]
