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Edinburgh hails sculpture of ‘huge pair of bollocks’ Scotland will have England by

A twenty metre bronze sculpture of a pair of English bollocks will be erected in Edinburgh’s George Square a week before the General Election. ‘The Bollocks We’ve Got England By,’ to give the artwork its full title, will show a pair of Union Jack testicles being painfully squeezed by a hand draped in a St Andrews Cross flag.

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Posted: Mar 26th, 2015
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BBC warns flash photography can also occur ‘in real life’

Viewers may find some of the warnings distressingThe BBC has cautioned its audience that while it can warn people about news reports featuring flash photography, the Corporation is “powerless” to protect people from flash photography that occurs “off air”.

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Posted: Mar 24th, 2015
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Hot dinners fed up with repeated references to Clarkson

‘How many times have you heard people say ‘I’ve now read more articles about Top Gear than I’ve eaten hot dinners? ’ said a spokesdinner for hot dinners. ‘We are boiling with rage about references linking us to the presenter’s antics.’

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2015
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Tories, Greens both pledge legalisation of workplace punching

‘We’ll back workplace punching where an employer relies on it for a clear economic benefit,’ announced David Cameron in a statement last night. ‘There are certain scenarios where an employment related blow in the face or punch in, say, the kidneys, is entirely justified in business terms.’

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Posted: Mar 13th, 2015
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Clarkson fans show support by punching each other, themselves

the most important story... in the world.The suspension of Jeremy Clarkson from from the BBC has been met with protests involving displays of self-flagellation and ‘appropriate, before the watershed’ violence by many of his 300 million supporters.

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Posted: Mar 11th, 2015
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