‘I do have a recollection of an incline, that is certain’, recalled the Duke of York, speaking to Newsnight about the number of staff he had and how they were deployed. ‘As a member of the royal family we come into daily contact with anything from a gentle slope to a steep escarpment, [read...]
25 years after the hit movie, Back to the Future, scientists at Cerne have discovered time travellers from the real future have already made a prequel to the film, which was secretly released ten years before the 1989 original, [read...]
The Prime Minister has warned that the EU is poised to launch compulsory coffee, croissants and dubious cold meats upon the unsuspecting British breakfast. In her conference speech, Mrs May alleged that Jean Claude Juncker is planning to impose strong coffee and in some cases threaten prosciutto or prosecution for breakfasts that do not comply with European Smoked Pork Regulations. [read...]
CID officers have demanded bigger noticeboards on which they can put multiple pictures of suspects linked with complex networks of string, claiming that modern crime is too complicated for Office Outlet’s ‘standard serial killer’ size of 900 x 600 millimetres. [read...]
Government sources have confirmed that Britain’s first lady-friend, Carrie Symonds will be supplied with a specially adapted f@cking laptop, after a difference of opinion over ownership of the PM’s own f@cking computer, prior to him taking office, [read...]
