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Other stories by nickb

Tub of lard hires PR consultant in run up to election debates

A tub of Lard is ‘investing heavily’ in media training and public relations advice ahead of its likely appearance in April’s election debate, but fears have been raised that other fat-based products, especially margarine, could be excluded under rules set by broadcasters.

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Posted: Mar 9th, 2015
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HMRC announce crackdown on anything Swiss

Millions of UK tax payers may be sitting on vast holdings of Toblerone without declaring the assets to Her Majesty’s revenue and customs, Conservative ministers have claimed. ‘Swiss, d’you see,’ trumpeted George Osborne, ‘obviously we can’t let them get away with it!’

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Posted: Feb 16th, 2015
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By-passed villagers lament inability to complain about HS2 ruining their homes

residents have never seen a train beforeResidents of the chocolate box village of Aynton in Berkshire have said that they are ‘stunned and shocked’ by the Transport Secretary’s decision not to route the controversial High Speed 2 rail link close to their homes.

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Posted: Feb 5th, 2015
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Pope asks ‘Who wants some?’

His Holiness Pope Francis I has stunned passengers on a flight to the Philippines by suggesting passengers ‘step outside’ to resolve an alleged insult to his mother, adding that he would ‘take on the lot of youse with one hand inside me cassock.’

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2015
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More countries allowing women combat roles ‘could lead to female-only battles’

Women worldwide have demanded the equal right to fight each other to the death in a military conflict, leaving male chauvinist critics to make lame jokes about where they will put their handbags while handling surface to air weapons, and whether they will take slightly longer to get battle-ready than their male counterparts.

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Posted: Jan 17th, 2015
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