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Other stories by nickb

Fiona Woolf denies using feathery hat to deflect attention

'Wouldn't have buried her head in the sand'Fiona Woolf has denied using a special feathery hat to divert people’s attention from Home Office and Conservative Party embarrassment. Mrs Woolf stepped down from the chairmanship of the government cover up of child sex abuse after it was argued she ‘wasn’t an appropriate person’ to lead the whitewash.

But Mrs Woolf still maintains she had all the right credentials for leading a complex cover up into a sexual scandal that may have reached into the higher echelons of government, as well as having excellent contacts inside and outside Westminster, and a hat made of black ostrich feathers.

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Posted: Nov 3rd, 2014
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nickb

Awesome Welles ‘not that Awesome’ according to undergrad essay

I really don’t see why we have to study this guy, who, despite his name, couldn’t even spell ‘Awemome’ anyway. And he ended up doing TV commercials for sherry, which is like what my great aunt drinks? And she lives in Frinton?’

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2014
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nickb

Scotland votes in favour of merger of Brian Coxes

The new single Cox will play British heavies in middlebrow American action movies, grin at how wonderful science can be and exercise increased tax raising powers, sometimes simultaneously.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2014
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nickb

Overweight hospital staff to be kept in trim by Benny Hill-style chases

Matrons, staff sisters and ward orderlies who are overweight will be chased round hospital premises by chubby Liberal Democrat peers with glasses in an attempt to head off an obesity crisis within the NHS, David Cameron has pledged

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Posted: Oct 26th, 2014
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nickb

Parallel world lacks parallel bars

Dr Micky Schmidt of NASA says Earth2 has Hollyoaks, Subbuteo, Partick Thistle, the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans, bees, both Brian Coxes and headlines dominated by a gravy woman who has just died

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2014
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