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Other stories by nickb

Government orders inquiry into why cover-up did not work

'Have they gone yet?' Why oh why oh why

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Posted: Jul 10th, 2015
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Radio 1 ‘could be replaced by piece of fruit’

BBC’s multimillion pound national pop station could be replaced by a piece of fruit, media experts say. Radio 1, which was Britain’s first pop station ever to broadcast the on air death of a disk jockey from natural causes, said it ‘welcomed the competition from the fruit item, which technology-watchers say is ‘well known’ and ‘not a banana or orange’.

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Posted: Jun 10th, 2015
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Reincarnation doubter reincarnated as carnation

A carnation spoke today of its regret at not believing in reincarnation in a previous life. The bloom, a deep red in colour, recorded at the Chelsea Flower Show, explained that it had enjoyed a previous life as Mr Andrew Smythe of Carshalton, Surrey.

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2015
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Labour to show business-friendly credentials by snorting cocaine

Labour's only remaining option to get its confidence backStung by the revelation that its election campaign did not understand the worlds of enterprise and high finance, the contenders for the party leadership have vowed to prove their business credentials. This will start next week, with Yvette Cooper offering her naked buttocks as a cocaine-cruet for Andy Burnham.

‘In hindsight, our campaign lacked the energy that business-minded people can bring to the party,’ said Burnham, announcing the snorting programme. ‘We have overlooked the kind of people who aspire to prosperity, wealth and reckless behaviour involving snorting Class A drugs from leadership contenders’ naked flesh.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2015
More from Politics



nickb

People who demand to be forgotten online ‘can’t remember why’

You ain't seen me, right! ‘I don’t want to remember it, whatever it was.’

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Posted: May 18th, 2015
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