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Ex-servicemen mark Bidet celebrations

6th June 1944 is still a special day in the memory of Corporal Mike Smythe of the Devonshire Regiment. He had never seen a bidet until his amphibious craft landed on Sword beach and no-one had explained the significance of Bidet to him.

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Posted: Jun 6th, 2014
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Saudi woman banned from not driving driverless cars

The Saudi Arabian government has ruled that women must not drive Google’s new driverless cars, in a ruling that liberals have criticised for creating a law that appears to break itself. ‘Surely saying they must not not be driven by women means they must be driven by women,’ said one

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Posted: Jun 3rd, 2014
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Lord Rennard to play Cyril Smith in Lib Dem biopic

‘Cyril was brilliant at connecting with young voters, especially young men,’ said an excited Lord Rennard. ‘Similarly, I have succeeded in getting into more young women at parties – er, I mean getting more young women into the party.’

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Posted: Jun 2nd, 2014
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Monopoly to withdraw get out of jail free cards

Dozens of armed robbers, rapists and evaders of the TV licence fee have used get out of jail free cards to dupe prison staff supplied by G4S and Serco into allowing them to abscond. After intense pressure from the Home Office and the Police Federation, Hasbro, makers of Monopoly, have said they will no longer supply the cards in new games.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2014
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Gove to privatise child abuse

'why should the state sector have all the fun?'Michael Gove has announced he’ll hand responsibility for all child abuse to private companies like G4S, Atos and Serco. Mr Gove told the media it was ‘inappropriate and wrong’ for past child abuse to be largely the responsibility of public bodies like the BBC, state-run care homes, the NHS and Liberal MP Cyril Smith.’

The Education Secretary said: ‘At a time of economic challenge it’s crucial we don’t leave child abuse to Labour-supporting BBC celebrities who are paid millions of pounds by licence fee payers. Even some religious institutions are claiming state funding for their special kind of hurting of children. Equally, the cost of child abuse in local authority and other state-provided institutions has got out of hand. That’s why teachers in Free Schools will have a freer hand in this respect. One simple form of abuse will be to deny children in Free Schools free school meals.’

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Posted: May 20th, 2014
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