NHS chiefs have raised concerns as the health risk posed by the release of the Swedish pop legends new album reached unprecedented levels. The government is now scrambling to issue key NHS workers with thousands of tight-fitting spandex face masks. [read...]
NASA’s Senior Director of Space Stuff, Hank Schitzler, has confirmed that the billionaires recent day trip into space was nothing more than one trivial step for mankind. ‘The idiots only went 53 miles up for fucks sake, [read...]
‘We haven’t a clue’, said Pauline Tennant, a 43-year-old grandmother from Romford. ‘We were up all night but couldn’t work it out. The nearest we could get was Jalapeno pepper, although Kylie, my eldest, thought it might be Japonica’. [read...]
Pegasus pieware is a pieware that can be covertly installed in pies to detect who exactly has eaten them. The pieware is capable of collecting passwords and location tracking. It was discovered three weeks ago by Eddie Fazackerley, [read...]
Extreme temperatures are expected to reach the UK later this week forcing forecasters to issue an amber alert for parts of Margate and the remote Irish village of Ballyageddon. ‘5600 degrees is nothing we can’t handle’, [read...]
