President of the free world and social media aficionado, Donald Trump has been advised by a group of scientists, heavily disguised as Evangelical preachers, that there could be a second and third wave of the virus as well as a possible Mexican wave. [read...]
The government’s hotly anticipated Test, Track, Trace and Test Again In Case system, which launches today in the UK is already out of date and has some bits and bobs missing, according to NHS leaders. [read...]
A leading scientist at the Medical Research Centre has admitted that his modelling output has not met government targets. Dr Peter Saunders, 43, a Behavioural Guesstimate Specialist has offered his resignation to the head of SAGE. [read...]
Customers flocking to the nation’s newly re-opened garden centres were shocked to find that they’d all be cleaned out of wheelbarrows, almost as soon as they’d opened for business. By 7.30 in the morning, The Sunny Pastures garden centre in Swindon had sold all its wheelbarrows to market traders masquerading as gardening enthusiasts. [read...]
As the Queen’s finances plummet and she has been forced to take drastic budgetary measures, such as the furloughing of Princess Anne and the Duke of York AirBnB, Prince Philip has stepped into the breach. [read...]
