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Man suspended for carrying banana through office
‘He might as well have just waved a dildo in my face,’ said his victim. [read...]
Articles by Qoxiivi
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Clowns ‘should travel to work in uniform’
‘The psychological benefits of seeing someone struggle through a busy ticket-gate in outsized trousers cannot be overstated.’ [read...]
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Helen of Troy had ‘big, jeroboam-shaped head’, claim archaeologists
Archaeologists believe they have uncovered the truth behind Helen of Troy’s face and its fabled ship-launching ability. [read...]
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US debt crisis averted thanks to loan from Wonga.com
‘The site was really user-friendly and made getting out of debt by getting into even more debt a doddle,’ said Obama. ‘They had this cool slider thing that went all the way up to $2,400,000,000,000 – which was handy.’ [read...]
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New Bear Grylls cookbook a surprise hit with the middle classes
The book contains favourites like ‘Freshly Squeezed Shit Drippings’ and ‘A Lizard’, and includes no nonsense instructions such as, ‘First, find some shit; fresh is best’ and ‘Grab it, grab it before it gets away’. [read...]