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Other stories by ronseal

New app offers manly friendship that stops you mid-sentence with glib advice

there's a prat for that!The new Glib Advisor, currently available on Android but coming to the iPhone soon, will offer manly friendship to isolated men on the go.

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Posted: May 19th, 2014
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Man who pretended to be fantasist exposed as complete realist

The man’s realism started from an early age, when a childhood trauma left him unable to make up stupid stuff to impress people.

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Posted: May 12th, 2014
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As Christmas looms, man dreads relatives asking ‘What exactly do you do?’

Metaphors, anecdotes and comparisons with occupations from a bygone age are all hopeless when explaining ‘what exactly is it you do’, according to a new report.

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Posted: Dec 5th, 2013
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Dogs having to impregnate too many ‘Sorry You’re Leaving’ cards with bum smells

‘Once it was only when a long-standing pack member was leaving,’ said Monty, a border terrier. ‘These days, the plain brown envelopes come round to celebrate the birth of a colleague’s puppies, a successful de-worming and even a new basket. I’m fed up with having to cock my leg to congratulate some bitch I barely know.’

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Posted: Oct 29th, 2013
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Cigarettes ‘could help people quit hypnotherapy’

resistance is futile, but manageableJust seven sessions a week, standing outside a pub sharing lighters with complete strangers, gave Susan the confidence to talk to people she didn’t know. ‘I’m much more outgoing now and can make friends with anyone. If I ever feel a bit low, I pop outside, stick a fag in my mouth and start cadging a light off passers by. It’s a ritual that really works,’ says Susan.

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Posted: Oct 24th, 2013
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