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Other stories by ronseal

HR genius devises job advert able to deter all but deluded bullshitters

A team of boffins in a Human Resources lab claims it has created the perfect advert to screen out almost all normal people and attract a 99 per cent pure audience of bullshitters, deluded chancers and would-be Apprentices to Alan Sugar.

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Posted: Aug 2nd, 2013
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BBC to include new ‘How we commissioned it’ bit at end of each programme

The mini-documentary at the end of each programme will explain the mysteries of how TV executives and their friends all collaborate on how they spend the license payer’s money.

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2013
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World speed-talking trophy retained by BT terms and conditions voiceover man

He puts his success down to squeezing the terms and conditions of BT contracts into a two-second slot at the end of every advert.

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Posted: Aug 1st, 2013
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Customers grateful for latest Important Changes to Your Account letter from bank

Though seemingly routine and innocuous, the blandly worded statements about what appear to be mundane banking procedures actually contain deadly hidden threats.

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Posted: Jul 27th, 2013
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Met Police launches new recruitment drive aimed at divorced alcoholic mavericks

‘If your marriage is on the rocks, if you have a drink problem and if you have got a hunch, my message to you is this: We will find you and we will hire you.’

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Posted: Jul 26th, 2013
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