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Schoolboy poised for historic walk to school attempt

Land Rover on standby in case of emergencyEight-year-old Nigel Williams from Maidenhead will tomorrow step into his family’s history books when for the first time he will attempt to walk alone along the three hundred-metre route from his home to school.

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Posted: Apr 20th, 2014
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NHS resurrection performance slammed

The NHS is failing to meet government targets to raise people from the dead according to a new report from the NHS watchdog Nicene.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2014
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roybland

Welsh sheep ‘lack vision’ says damning report

‘The country has too many under-performing breeds content to just stand around in fields all day munching grass. They need to look beyond the farm gate.’

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2014
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Current MH370 search zone as big as something or other

A new area of the South China Sea where it’s believed the MH370 aircraft may have disappeared, is as large as something or other according to experts.

Earlier estimates said the search area was the size of several football pitches placed end to end, assuming a football pitch the size of Alaska.

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Posted: Mar 30th, 2014
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roybland

Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’

Aliens could claim child tax credits for children living outside the orbit of Pluto‘They’ll probably be concealing illegal migrants from somewhere or other in the solar system just here to scrounge or take our British jobs’

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Posted: Mar 7th, 2014
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