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Families urged to stop being interviewed on horrible sofas

People in the news should refrain from appearing on television bulletins sitting on horrible sofas, says a social attitudes report.

Dr. Muriel Comfort of the Social Attitudes Foundation, said: ‘Typically, man and wife, or even the extended family, are interviewed in their lounge sitting on their horrible sofa, which makes it difficult for the viewer to concentrate on the interview. Instead, viewers are quite naturally busy denouncing the horrible sofa.’

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Posted: Jan 26th, 2014
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roybland

Tebbit ‘to blame for being a twat’, say fat people

‘He’s a complete twat,’ said 18-stone Sandra Moore from Kettering. ‘The guy didn’t have to be a Tory and swallow acres of rubbish.

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Posted: Jan 19th, 2014
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roybland

Grandmother in fear of iPad Christmas present

Grandmother Margaret Edwards has another thirty-six sleepless nights to endure before Christmas Day when she fears her family will be giving her an iPad as a Christmas present.

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2013
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roybland

National Trust launches ‘heritage evictions’

The National Trust is to open its evictions of its tenants to the public.

‘The general public will be able to visit what we are calling heritage evictions of our tenants.’ said a spokeswoman. ‘People will be able to see traditionally distressed families evicted from our many picturesque stone cottages and working farms set in beautiful rural surroundings, onto green fields, orchards and rolling downs – hopefully in the dead of winter.’

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Posted: Oct 14th, 2013
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roybland

Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends.

‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living all the same.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2013
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