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Man who has never even heard of Higgs Boson seems to be doing OK

A Cheltenham butcher who has never heard of Higgs Boson is getting on with his life just fine say his friends.

‘Gordon has never heard of it,’ said Luke Church, a friend, ‘but he just goes on living all the same.’

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Posted: Oct 12th, 2013
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roybland

Woman leaving Argos store doesn’t feel as if she’s really been shopping

‘I was carrying the toaster in its box and I’d got the receipt in my purse, but I stopped and said out loud, ‘Doris, love, have you really been shopping?’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013
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roybland

Man reckons he wouldn’t mind waking up as a gigantic insect

‘I can’t see it being a problem,’ said Mr smith, brushing off any potential anxiety regarding the notional Kafkaesque eventuality. ‘A change is as good as a rest, as they say, though I think I’ll pass on turning into a cockroach.’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013
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roybland

‘Shifty-looking’ workmen lay perfect tarmac driveway for pensioner

‘When the gang leader, who looked a bit swarthy and wore a red bandana, quoted a reasonable price and a ten-year guarantee, I was onto trading standards like a shot.’

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2013
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roybland

Poundland worker goes berserk in change-giving spree

Colin Turner – who gave out a total of £10,000, plus 27 pence of his own money before he was restrained by colleagues – told investigators that years of dealing largely in notes and pound coins had made him finally snap.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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