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Other stories by roybland

Woman leaving Argos store doesn’t feel as if she’s really been shopping

‘I was carrying the toaster in its box and I’d got the receipt in my purse, but I stopped and said out loud, ‘Doris, love, have you really been shopping?’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013
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roybland

Man reckons he wouldn’t mind waking up as a gigantic insect

‘I can’t see it being a problem,’ said Mr smith, brushing off any potential anxiety regarding the notional Kafkaesque eventuality. ‘A change is as good as a rest, as they say, though I think I’ll pass on turning into a cockroach.’

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2013
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roybland

‘Shifty-looking’ workmen lay perfect tarmac driveway for pensioner

‘When the gang leader, who looked a bit swarthy and wore a red bandana, quoted a reasonable price and a ten-year guarantee, I was onto trading standards like a shot.’

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Posted: Oct 9th, 2013
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roybland

Poundland worker goes berserk in change-giving spree

Colin Turner – who gave out a total of £10,000, plus 27 pence of his own money before he was restrained by colleagues – told investigators that years of dealing largely in notes and pound coins had made him finally snap.

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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roybland

Students drop out after finding iPads ‘full of academic shit’

‘I thought it was cool when I got an iPad to use at uni,’ said Brad Baker, who is studying English Literature. ‘Then I found out it was full of academic stuff. Sixty-eight gigs of Anglo-Saxon shit really freaked me out. I had to delete Angry Birds and stuff that mattered to make room for it. I’m well-gutted.’

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Posted: Sep 25th, 2013
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