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Runaway teens disappointed that Islamic State doesn’t have Apple Watch

London teenagers who travelled to Syria to become jihadists want to return home because IS doesn’t have the Apple Watch. Several Facebook postings by the runaway teens shows them lamenting the absence of Apple Watch despite prayers and appeals to the Islamic State’s religious leaders.

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Posted: Mar 17th, 2015
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Cameron promises Cornish holiday stand-off with Russians

The Prime Minister said ‘I have made it very clear to President Putin that I will be on my favourite Cornish beach this summer, Russian fighters or no Russian fighters.

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Posted: Feb 23rd, 2015
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Government ‘gone’

The British Government has completely disappeared, according to reports from Westminster.

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Posted: Feb 9th, 2015
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UK deafness epidemic ‘may last up to 122 days’

An outbreak of deafness affecting four million people in the UK could last as long as 122 days, says NHS England. ‘We don’t expect any improvement until May 8th,’ a NHS spokeswoman said.

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Posted: Jan 6th, 2015
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The Hardcastle family say they’re probably not going to buy a 40-inch 100Hz HD Ready LCD TV with all-around Dolby sound this Christmas

nothing on anyway‘I know that in January we’ll both miss that sinking feeling when you get the bill and know you can’t pay it, but I expect this year we’ll put the tele and the kettle on and get over it.’

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Posted: Nov 18th, 2014
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