Due to Brexit, the popular Thornton’s Continental chocolates selection will be changing its name to the Thornton’s Non-Continental None Of That Fancy Foreign Stuff Thank You Very Much Indeed chocolates. It’s thought that this move could make them a serious contender to replace the Fry’s Chocolate Cream as the favourite confectionery for people with an… [read...]
Top shelf spirit gin has gained such momentum in recent years that it is now compulsory to like it. It owes its success to having the word artisanal added to some of its bottles, to the addition of fruit flavours and being allowed to mix with fizzy drinks that don’t taste bitter and horrible. [read...]
Spokesblueberry Gavin Jones revealed today that there is an epidemic of gloom among his fruity chums because they feel they can’t possibly live up to being called a superfood in adverts on websites. Gavin told us ‘Some of us hang around with pancakes and that’s nice. [read...]
Small green dragon Excitable Edgar is back on the tills in John Lewis this week. Asked if he’d be equally excitable working in a busy retail environment in the run up to Christmas he said “It’ll be just as stimulating to be on the shop floor promptly in the morning. [read...]
A spokesman for the British Caravan Naming Committee has revealed the process by which newly produced caravans are named. He confided :When we name a caravan we have three hats on the table. One is full of scraps of paper with vaguely powerful sounding names (senator, [read...]
