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Other stories by simonjmr

Murmuration of Clarins girls in Bristol, heralds end to winter

‘Never in living memory have so many perma-tanned, electric pink lipstick wearing Clarins girls been seen in these numbers in January.’

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Posted: Jan 10th, 2013
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simonjmr

Canada to repel superstorm Sandy using Dyson Airblade dryers

Canadians urge world not to worry about them, they're fineFollowing emergency talks with the inventor Sir James Dyson, the Canadian government has announced an ambitious plan to resist superstorm Sandy entering the country by using Dyson Airblade hand-dryers to blow it back towards the US.

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Posted: Oct 30th, 2012
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simonjmr

Nick Clegg to address imaginary delegates at this year’s Lib Dem conference

There must be somebody out there. Anyone?‘Clint Eastwood had an argument with an empty chair regarding its political standpoint. Nick will go one further and address an imaginary political party at an imaginary political conference.’

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Posted: Sep 7th, 2012
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simonjmr

Indian mystic abandons Lego walk challenge

Recently the US army has used ‘Legowalking’ as a replacement for waterboarding.

But ten-year-old George Bulmer, a dedicated Lego user, said he couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about

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Posted: Jun 29th, 2012
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simonjmr

Electronic polling booths to use predictive text algorithms

The Electoral Commission today has announced that from 2014 polling stations across the UK will start using ‘electronic’ polling booths.

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Posted: Apr 13th, 2012
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