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Other stories by simonjmr

Shelf stacker quits; Tesco financial performance too much to bear

Courtney Thomas (17) today quit as shelf stacker for Tesco as the responsibility for financial and market performance for the Tesco group as a whole is too much to bear and that his efforts have failed to revive sales, despite spending £500m on price cuts and planning a major revamp of its stores.

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Posted: Mar 16th, 2012
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simonjmr

Domino’s Pizza wins UK emergency service contract

‘Domino’s record of having a pizza delivery boy on site within 30 minutes of the call being made, or your money back, seems to transfer well to the provision of emergency services.’

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Posted: Mar 8th, 2012
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simonjmr

Whales ‘stressed’ by slow rural broadband speeds

Whales and Dolphins are becoming increasingly stressed and agitated at the lack of availabilty of superfast broadband connections in their locales. For decades scientists have known that cetaceans have communicated over long distances, but only recently has their eager adoption of the internet come to naturalists’ attention.

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Posted: Feb 13th, 2012
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simonjmr

Capello ‘completely disagrees’ with Chris Huhne resignation

not racist to call him Italian‘I thought it was right that Chris Huhne should keep the Energy Secretary armband. This will be a big loss to the Cabinet and the Lib Dems.’

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Posted: Feb 6th, 2012
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simonjmr

Queen’s Christmas message to be replaced with round-robin letter

‘One wishes William and Kate every happiness for the future, but William is his father’s son so we were sure to set up a cast-iron pre-nuptial agreement – and Philip has a contact he can call if ever things get out of hand.’

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Posted: Dec 3rd, 2011
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