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Other stories by simonjmr

35-year-old man still searching for the ‘farm’ his childhood dog was sent to

‘I’ve searched all the farms locally, but I still haven’t found any evidence that Buttons lived there. All I can think is that my parents had to send him to a farm a bit further afield.’

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Posted: Nov 2nd, 2011
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simonjmr

X-Factor’s Rhythmix changes name to ‘The Spastics Society’

‘Well, I’ve had my people check and it’s definitely available. It’s perfect for my girls and, if anything, isn’t nearly as offensive as the music they’ll be producing.’

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Posted: Oct 28th, 2011
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simonjmr

London 2012 plans in disarray as Lord Coe arrested for looking a bit ‘Araby’

‘As you’d expect, my officers are on high alert for slightly foreign-looking gentlemen showing any interest at all in the Olympics”, explained Chief Inspector Midsomer.

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Posted: Oct 10th, 2011
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simonjmr

Egyptian hieroglyphs ‘were early examples of Facebook status updates’

far more poking going on than was strictly necessary‘If a pharaoh wanted to let his friends know how he was, he’d just instant message them by carving a status update like ‘wavy line, owl, big eye, smiley face’ onto his wall.’

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Posted: Sep 28th, 2011
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simonjmr

Fantasy Football manager to get opportunity to manage Blackburn Rovers

Blackburn Rovers have announced today that Steve Kean will be sacked as boss and his successor will be drawn from a shortlist of the top 100 managers in the Fantasy Premier League.

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Posted: Aug 23rd, 2011
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