Government negotiators, charged with loosening Nigel Farage’s tentacle-like grip on interminable political punditry, have warned that a full ‘Nigexit’ is unlikely until at least 2028. The news has come as a cruel blow to the many millions of Nigexiters who had assumed that by voting for the UK’s withdrawal from the European Union, [read...]
Physicists in Cern accidentally accessed a parallel universe to our own where the singer is about to start a City and Guilds qualification in Portable Appliance Testing after a year out travelling around Canada. [read...]
Guardian columnist Owen Jones is set to be unveiled as the new James Bond in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’ admitted Barbara Broccoli of EON Productions. [read...]
‘To be or not to be? Couldnt give a flying one, mate!’ [read...]
I have, with deep regret, formally resigned from my position as foreign secretary – oh and I posed for a photograph of myself signing said letter looking a bit Churchillian. [read...]
