The UK came together as one last night, ignoring the growing North-South divide on property prices, to applaud the ‘selfless heroes’ returning to their work as estate agents, letting agents and valuation managers and bravely driving their branded Minis to viewings where they might have to put up with any number of dimwits and timewasters…. [read...]
After months of wrangling between life-long villagers and affluent newcomers, a High Court judge has ruled that the name of the tiny Dorset village of Schroatham should correctly be pronounced ‘scrotum’.
The dispute around the name of the village had originated following an influx of newcomers to the area attracted by newly built executive homes and high-speed rail links. [read...]
Government negotiators, charged with loosening Nigel Farage’s tentacle-like grip on interminable political punditry, have warned that a full ‘Nigexit’ is unlikely until at least 2028. The news has come as a cruel blow to the many millions of Nigexiters who had assumed that by voting for the UK’s withdrawal from the European Union, [read...]
Physicists in Cern accidentally accessed a parallel universe to our own where the singer is about to start a City and Guilds qualification in Portable Appliance Testing after a year out travelling around Canada. [read...]
Guardian columnist Owen Jones is set to be unveiled as the new James Bond in a surprise move from the franchise. ‘It was something of a surprise for us too,’ admitted Barbara Broccoli of EON Productions. [read...]
