NewsBiscuit

The news before it happens…

Other stories by StoopyDeGunt

Karate expert fails to take opportunity to demonstrate his powers

The Union of Arseholes who do Martial Arts has moved swiftly to discipline one of its members, after he failed to demonstrate his skills on a vaguely interested member of the public.

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Posted: Dec 13th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Southerners evoke blitz spirit to defy horrific centimetre thick blanket of snow

London’s chirpy cockneys, chinless hoorays, plucky ethnic types and evil middle class do-gooders united as one yesterday to send a defiant message – ‘mustn’t grumble’.

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Posted: Dec 1st, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Britain ‘chuffed’ with name-check in George W. Bush book

Haven't been so happy since Ronald Reagan only slightly mis-pronounced 'London'A carnival atmosphere erupted as it was discovered that the small island nation had been name-checked in the former president’s memoirs – and not just once!

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Posted: Nov 14th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

America stood shoulder to shoulder with us over terrorism, says Gerry Adams

Gerry Adams has been criticised for getting his historical facts wrong in a speech during his American tour, in which he alluded to the war.

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Posted: Nov 8th, 2010
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StoopyDeGunt

Record pumpkin sales herald the end of the recession, says Osborne

A surge in pumpkin sales, up 4000 per cent on the previous month, could herald the beginning of the end of the recession and the dawn of a new age, according to chancellor George Osborne.

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Posted: Nov 1st, 2010
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