The British porn industry has bowed to pressure to warn people not to over-indulge in the thing it would really, really like them to over-indulge in, it was confirmed today. “Sure, our porn is sexy, [read...]
The Conservatives have confirmed that they will continue to use daily guest leaders even after the pandemic has ended, as the general public prefers it to watching the same old comedian trot out hackneyed jokes and Latin puns each night. [read...]
The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan. [read...]
Die-hard brexiteers dying without repentance will dwell for all eternity in a hellish simulacrum of the seat of European power, God confirmed today. ‘No-plan-no-dealers had every chance to say sorry’ said the Lord Almighty. ‘Not for them the blessed afterlife of a liberal, [read...]
An anti-capitalist protester camping outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London confirmed today that the experience has inspired him to start ‘ProtestEx’ – the world’s first event management company dedicated to ‘making sure your bid to overthrow the status quo goes without a hitch’. [read...]
