Ancient and recently rebranded deity Yahweh has admitted previous expressions of displeasure at Donald Trump’s America were ‘too subtle’. The Almighty has therefore declared that henceforth all plagues, meteorological extremes and geological upheavals should be named after senior Republican figures, [read...]
The British porn industry has bowed to pressure to warn people not to over-indulge in the thing it would really, really like them to over-indulge in, it was confirmed today. “Sure, our porn is sexy, [read...]
The Conservatives have confirmed that they will continue to use daily guest leaders even after the pandemic has ended, as the general public prefers it to watching the same old comedian trot out hackneyed jokes and Latin puns each night. [read...]
The Empire confirmed today it is closing the Death Star with immediate effect, and promised ‘full co-operation’ with the official investigation into alleged illegal practices over a number of years, culminating in the destruction of the planet Alderaan. [read...]
Die-hard brexiteers dying without repentance will dwell for all eternity in a hellish simulacrum of the seat of European power, God confirmed today. ‘No-plan-no-dealers had every chance to say sorry’ said the Lord Almighty. ‘Not for them the blessed afterlife of a liberal, [read...]
