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Sodor abandoned as self-aware steam trains finally take over
‘Soon they’d learnt how to drive themselves, even mine their own coal. I had the world’s most efficient railway – but then they got bored’. [read...]
Articles by SuburbanDad
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QAnon supporters flock to Magaluf, await second coming of Trump
The Spanish seaside resort of Magaluf is inundated with Americans preparing for the second coming of their former president, it was reported yesterday. ‘Why here?’ said Stephanie Greene of Davenport, Iowa. ‘Q said we get to ‘Make America Great Again, [read...]
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God tries again with ‘Hurricane Fuck Off Donald’
Ancient and recently rebranded deity Yahweh has admitted previous expressions of displeasure at Donald Trump’s America were ‘too subtle’. The Almighty has therefore declared that henceforth all plagues, meteorological extremes and geological upheavals should be named after senior Republican figures, [read...]
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Self-regulating porn industry urges users to “wank responsibly”
The British porn industry has bowed to pressure to warn people not to over-indulge in the thing it would really, really like them to over-indulge in, it was confirmed today. “Sure, our porn is sexy, [read...]
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Government ‘Have I Got News for You’ leadership style to become permanent
The Conservatives have confirmed that they will continue to use daily guest leaders even after the pandemic has ended, as the general public prefers it to watching the same old comedian trot out hackneyed jokes and Latin puns each night. [read...]