Not satisfied with listening to crackly LPs on his gramophone, 39-year-old David Prince from Horsham is now boring his friends on the merits of grainy video cassettes of 1980s sex. So far Mr Prince has confined himself to VHS format tapes, [read...]
After years of silence on the secrets of his robust health, legendary bass drummer Dave Parker has revealed he owes his long life to “12 lines of the best Colombian every day, all-night parties, and unprotected sex”. [read...]
Thousands of haggard onanists, some of whom haven’t seen daylight since March, came out to clap today as the porn industry’s frontline workers set off once again for their back-street studios. The move comes after crisis cabinet talks where it was revealed that Britain’s porn reserves were running lower than at any time since the… [read...]
As travel from Europe to the UK becomes ever more complicated after Brexit, the Cabinet has decided to boost foreign currency reserves by attracting visitors travelling in space ships from the future, it has been announced. [read...]
Anyone crossing the street will need to be extra careful, “as they may be run over by a car that still seems half a mile away”. [read...]
