His synthesiser was formally re-programmed so that Hawking sounded like he was from his native England and not a cheap 1950s American sci-fi movie.
Posted: Jan 12th, 2015
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In a move set to streamline parliamentary business and leave Mr Cameron more time to spend with his family, eager MPs will now compete with each other to address pointless questions to an empty podium for half an hour.
Posted: Dec 23rd, 2014
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The National Rifle Association has committed itself to alleviating ‘firepower poverty’ in the developing world. ‘There are children who’ll grow up without ever knowing the comfort of holding a warm firearm if we don’t take action now,’ said NRA spokesman Brent Maples.
Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
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Although trained as a carpenter, Jesus lists his occupation as “Messiah and Son of God”, and claims to be unfit for work due to complications arising from being born of a virgin in a stable. While he insists “miracle is too strong a word” for what he does, he admits to “some amazing catering skills” with bread and seafood.
Posted: Sep 18th, 2014
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‘You’ve got the hearing-impaired, the partially sighted, same-sex this, transgender that… It’s impossible to keep up, but one does one’s best.’
Posted: Sep 12th, 2014
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