A new bill before Parliament would exempt Conservative MPs from corporal punishment laws and let them be spanked to their hearts’ content in the best tradition of sexually repressed ex public school boys. Tory diehards believe they can relive the glory days of the Thatcher years, [read...]
The sleepy county of Midsomer has now gone fifteen days without a grisly murder, something even its oldest residents can’t remember happening before. Locals fear they’ll never be on TV again if someone isn’t strangled or hacked to death soon. [read...]
Brexit hangs in the balance once again as it’s announced that Albert Square’s residents are determined to stay in the EU. Unofficial spokesman Phil Mitchell cited ‘well handy flights to Lanzarote and cheap European booze’ [read...]
Britain will be without gravity from January the 1st, it has been announced. The Archbishop of Canterbury has explained that this move will slash the Universe’s energy budget by as much as 40 per cent. [read...]
A British firm has responded to the nation-wide drop in driver confidence caused by the popularity of devices telling drinkers they’re over the alcohol limit. The new Ucandrive breathalyser is aimed at ‘advanced drivers’ who are fed up being thwarted by the nanny state drink-drive laws. [read...]
