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Other stories by sydalg

Charles to take gap year before succeeding to throne?

As his succession draws nearer, Prince Charles fears that 66 years may not be enough time preparation for being monarch and is considering taking a year of ‘chilling out’ in some far-flung corner of the Empire beforehand, sleeping till midday in a cheap hostel and smoking skunk.

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Posted: Mar 4th, 2015
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sydalg

European Court rules pacts with Devil ‘not legally binding’

People who sold their immortal souls to Satan are celebrating the latest decision by the European Court, which has ruled that they were victims of ‘aggressive sales tactics’.

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Posted: Feb 15th, 2015
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sydalg

Queen finally honours Stephen Hawking by granting him English accent

His synthesiser was formally re-programmed so that Hawking sounded like he was from his native England and not a cheap 1950s American sci-fi movie.

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Posted: Jan 12th, 2015
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sydalg

Prime Minister’s Rhetorical Question Time gets off to good start

In a move set to streamline parliamentary business and leave Mr Cameron more time to spend with his family, eager MPs will now compete with each other to address pointless questions to an empty podium for half an hour.

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Posted: Dec 23rd, 2014
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sydalg

NRA pledges to give every African child a gun by 2018

The National Rifle Association has committed itself to alleviating ‘firepower poverty’ in the developing world. ‘There are children who’ll grow up without ever knowing the comfort of holding a warm firearm if we don’t take action now,’ said NRA spokesman Brent Maples.

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Posted: Dec 18th, 2014
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