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Desperate people escaping UKIP campaigners under lorries
‘Our people lived peacefully for many years under our benevolent Lib Dem MP, who showed up on our doorsteps every four years spouting harmless rubbish,’ he explained. [read...]
Articles by sydalg
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Charles to take gap year before succeeding to throne?
As his succession draws nearer, Prince Charles fears that 66 years may not be enough time preparation for being monarch and is considering taking a year of ‘chilling out’ in some far-flung corner of the Empire beforehand, [read...]
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European Court rules pacts with Devil ‘not legally binding’
People who sold their immortal souls to Satan are celebrating the latest decision by the European Court, which has ruled that they were victims of ‘aggressive sales tactics’. [read...]
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Queen finally honours Stephen Hawking by granting him English accent
His synthesiser was formally re-programmed so that Hawking sounded like he was from his native England and not a cheap 1950s American sci-fi movie. [read...]
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Prime Minister’s Rhetorical Question Time gets off to good start
In a move set to streamline parliamentary business and leave Mr Cameron more time to spend with his family, eager MPs will now compete with each other to address pointless questions to an empty podium for half an hour. [read...]