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Other stories by The Paper Ostrich

What Queen actually needs is a stiff drink, insists Palace

After Prince Harry claimed that the Queen relies on the love and support of The Duke of Edinburgh, Buckingham Palace has rebuked him publicly and insisted that she actually relies on a steady supply of gin to get her through the tedious business of reigning over us.

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Posted: Feb 4th, 2012
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The Paper Ostrich

Missing episodes of ‘John Major’s Premiership’ rediscovered

compulsive viewing, oh yes!Science fiction fans have voiced their delight after two old episodes of John Major’s premiership were rediscovered in a negotiating room.

The two rediscovered episodes are from a 1991 story entitled ‘The Continental Menace’ and show Mr Major in the role of Prime Minister thwarting the evil European Commission on the planet Maastricht. The adventure was found unexpectedly during a clearout by a Mr Cameron of London, who did not initially realise the significance of what he had found.

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Posted: Dec 14th, 2011
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The Paper Ostrich

Panasonic unveils new Eurozone crisis-ready TV

The product features new Eurozone crisis-ready technology, including a fixed banner with the words “EUROZONE CRISIS” along the bottom of the screen, regardless of channel.

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Posted: Dec 12th, 2011
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The Paper Ostrich

Research shows Britain’s pubs ‘full of technocrats’

'If they try and call this a half-litre, there'll be blood..'There may be hope for the ailing UK economy, after researchers found that Britain’s pubs are ‘chock full’ of technocrats.

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Posted: Nov 17th, 2011
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The Paper Ostrich

Middle East tense as Brown asks Blair: ‘When are you resigning as peace envoy?’

Governments in the Middle East and around the world are said to be ‘tense and concerned’ after Gordon Brown approached Tony Blair at the weekend and asked: “when are you resigning as peace envoy?”

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Posted: Nov 6th, 2011
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