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Ridley Scott releases new director’s cut of ‘that Hovis advert’

best thing since spliced breadThe advert will premiere at London’s IMAX cinema, followed by a Q&A session with the director and a selection of uncomfortable-looking Hovis middle managers.

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Posted: Apr 29th, 2013
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European Court rules God cannot cast Lucifer out of Heaven

The omnipresent supreme being, God, has expressed his disappointment after the European Court refused to overturn a ruling preventing him from casting out the senior radical anticleric Lucifer, commonly known as Satan, from Heaven.

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Posted: Apr 26th, 2013
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Manchester Utd criticised For ‘burying bad result news’ on day of Thatcher passing

The FA and several opposing club supporters trusts have criticised Manchester United Football Club for releasing news of their loss to rivals Manchester City on the day of ex Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s passing.

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Posted: Apr 10th, 2013
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Contract to backfill police drafted to cover Olympic security is won by G4S

Security firm G4S were today announced as the surprise winners of the contract to backfill police shortages caused by thousands of police officers having to cover the shortage in Olympic security positions.

The Government minister with responsibilities for the Olympics, Jeremy Hunt, explained the awarding of the contract showed that ‘this Governemnt is committed to an ongoing listening excersie around costs, security, and the ineptitude of many private companies, but that most importantly, and I cannot stress this enough, we have learned little to nothing from the last few months and are looking forward to making the same mistakes over and over again until something goes right’.

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Posted: Jul 19th, 2012
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Launch failure sees many question North Korea’s dedication to cause

North Korea has reacted apologetically to the rest of the world after its recent rocket testing failed to launch.
’This has never happened before’ Kim Jong-Un reticently stated to gathered state controlled media outlets.

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Posted: Apr 14th, 2012
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