Airfix has won the lucrative contract to provide the next generation of UK fighter planes, it has been revealed. ‘It’ll be pretty neat,’ said Gavin Williamson, aged eight, CEO of Airfix UK and apparently Defence Secretary. [read...]
Organ donor status can be recorded on the app, too. However one beta tester who has been testing an early version of the software said he was ‘disturbed’ to wake up in ICU having donated a kidney despite not being unwell, [read...]
‘How we got ourselves into the position we find ourselves in, I don’t know,’ said a Senior Civil Servant today. ‘The EU is governed by so called elected MEPs who talk a lot then rubber stamp policies and directives drawn up by unelected bureaucrats who appear to be answerable to nobody,’ [read...]
The government has defended the Commons’ vote against ending austerity for public sector workers, including the emergency services, in a ‘clarification statement’ that concluded that these workers were ‘vital but not THAT vital’. Tory MPs continued their wild cheering as the slogan they are going to use for the next few months appeared on their… [read...]
‘I just wanted to get a feel of what it was like before we joined the EU,’ said Kieron, 35. ‘My mum has explained about the power cuts, three day working week and petrol coupons and to be honest I voted leave just on those ideas alone,’ [read...]
