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eBay purchases of Coronavirus will still take 20-30 days to arrive
The government COBRA committee is convening to see if the Coronavirus outbreak is serious enough to affect UK commerce. [read...]
Articles by throngsman
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Bob ‘left with no choice’ but to leave family home
Bob Evans revealed today that he had to leave his family home. ‘My mother is upset, of course, but I have to do this for the sanity of my family,’ he said, clutching his baby son Tyler closely. [read...]
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Progress on Dry January ‘mixed’ confirms everyone
As dry January enters its second full week the nation has been reflecting on progress so far. ‘It goes on for too long, in my opinion,’ said Clara, 39, ‘in fact I’ve as I’ve stopped pissing blood and the stabbing pains in my liver have all but gone I reckon I could resume,’ [read...]
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Conservatives announce ‘Tory member of the day’
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has made an early announcement into his new term as Prime Minister by noting that, ‘as there are 365 Conservative MPs, that means we can allocate a Guardian MP for every day of the year. [read...]
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Rough sleeper welcomes Christmas Day
Paul has looked forward to Christmas Day for several weeks. ‘Every morning I have to roll up my sleeping bag and carry it around the back, as the manager of the Boots doorway I sleep in doesn’t like me lying there when the customers arrive,’ [read...]