In a landmark deal struck with the EU, Theresa May has reduced the European Union into a virtual vassal state, she announced today. ‘We no longer need to spend millions creating rules and regulations, the EU will do that for us, [read...]
There were scenes of grown men weeping in the streets and whole families queuing to sign books of remembrance following the resignation of Dominic Cummings. ‘Why oh why did he need to go?’ was a common refrain as remainers and leavers joined together as never before as Cummings climbed into his car and drove off… [read...]
‘We must have sent him four emails asking for a review, but he just ignored them,’ said an Amazon spokesman today. ‘He hadn’t marked the product as a gift, so there was no reason to not provide a review,’ [read...]
One week into the annual daylight saving time season and a government spokesman admitted today that ‘nobody knows why we do this.’ There was a time, before alarm clocks and halogen lights, when farmers were encouraged to get up at the time their body clocks told them to get up and work while there was… [read...]
‘We’re six months into the pandemic and we don’t now need to explain what SAGE (Standard Ambivalent Government Experts) means in brackets in our webpage news reports,’ said a BBC spokesman. ‘Back in the early days when we mentioned SAGE (Sex, [read...]
