Councillors in Cambridge have welcomed the discovery of an Anglo-Saxon village where the A14 improvements are being made. ‘Obviously the Anglo-Saxons chose the site because it is well located for trunk road traffic and is easily accessible to London by road and rail,’ [read...]
Government stats have revealed today that whenever it snows there are fewer covid-19 cases reported. ‘It’s almost as if treacherous roads, sub-zero temperatures and blizzard conditions frighten the virus away,’ said one expert on virus behaviour. [read...]
The government has finally agreed that it has royally screwed up the pandemic response as ‘clap for Carers’ comes back for season two. It’s expected that the uptick in people suffering hypothermia every Thursday evening at eight o’clock will put emergency services under unprecedented pressure, [read...]
Prime Minister Boris Johnson has pledged not only to break all of his New Year pledges again this year, but that they will be world-beating pledges and will be broken in a world-beating way. ‘I’m not going to reduce the amount of lies I tell, [read...]
The government denied that the logistics of delivering potentially over 100 million covid-19 vaccine doses before the spring would create problems. ‘We’re the government that addressed the shortage of container ships by buying into companies that didn’t have container ships,’ [read...]
