A Daily Mirror spokesman confirmed today that once the ‘school holiday prices rocket in the summer’ exposé has run its natural course there are dozens of other ‘bewildering reveals ready to roll. ‘Did you know day follows night? [read...]
A German born man in London was praised by the Metropolitan Police today for defending himself from a woman walking behind him armed with a mobile phone and wearing a sash. ‘She could have garroted me with the sash if she’d taken it off, [read...]
The six remaining Conservative Party leadership hopefuls have unanimously sacked specialist Damian Broadbent after the advice he provided on the first round of questions. ‘All I could hear in my head when I was asked ‘what’s your biggest weakness’ [read...]
Following complaints that nobody voted for a sunrise, the Government has agreed to mandate that the Sun will not rise until Parliament mandates it. Opponents of the decision point to the ‘fact’ that the Sun provides heat and light for the country, [read...]
On the 75th anniversary of the D Day landings, Germany has called for €3 billion in reparations for four million towels, 4,000 umbrellas and 2,000 reclining chairs lost during the invasion. ‘We were clearly on the beaches first,’ [read...]
