‘An additional construction at a World Heritage Site is quite inappropriate’ said Lionel Bannerman of the Friends of Green Earthpiece. ‘We’ve seen what chaos these stone circles bring, with all those hippies, Druids, drunks and litter-louts at Stonehenge. [read...]
‘I am fed up with idiots suggesting that I would prefer not to have any anaesthetic,’ said Jake O’bree-Smug, a long-suffering dental patient who is desperate for freedom from further pain. ‘Obviously I would prefer the extraction to be as painless as possible.’ [read...]
Lady Thatcher is to be disinterred and put up for election for the leadership of the Conservative party. Her supporters claim that she has spoken to them from beyond the grave in a very firm and decisive voice, [read...]
In a startling new scientific breakthrough, signs of lingering basic brain-function including the ability to recognise simple words such as ‘goal’, ‘Moon’ and ‘parrot’, and the ability to direct the opening of a ring-pull beer can or to order a takeaway pizza have been observed in the brains of subjects previously regarded as having suffered complete brain death. [read...]
