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Falkland Islanders vote to become Caribbean

unanimously rejected Argentine climateIn a surprise outcome to Sunday’s sovereignty referendum, 98% of Falklanders have voted to ditch British nationality and switch allegiance to the sunnier, more laid back Caribbean.

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Posted: Sep 17th, 2014
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wallster

Frostbite claims final piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes

The last piece of Sir Ranulph Fiennes has finally fallen off due to extreme frostbite. The 68 year old Victorian throwback had been attempting to cross the frozen aisle in Aldi when his last remaining appendage succumbed to the icy conditions.

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Posted: Feb 26th, 2013
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wallster

Trashy sex novels blamed for decline in writing standards

Dorothy Peel, head of the Media Sciences Unit which produced the report, parted her pink, moist lips, slipped her hand down towards her midriff, caressed her womanly cleft, and explained the group’s findings.

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Posted: Jul 24th, 2012
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wallster

Trucker completes day 35 of Olympic Breakfast relay

The 43-year-old trucker is on a 70-day tour of the UK stopping at every Little Chef en route to the opening ceremony to put away a full Olympic Breakfast.

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Posted: May 22nd, 2012
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wallster

Paul Gambaccini ‘sick to death’ of saying nice things about dead pop singers.

The 63 year old DJ has called time on eulogising over dead pop singers after being wheeled out once too often in recent weeks to say nice things about artists such as Donna Summer, former Booker T bassist Donald ‘Duck’ Dunn and again today, following the demise of Bee Gee Robin Gibb.

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Posted: May 21st, 2012
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